Eight years in the past.
"What is sweetheart?"
"Mum! I think I'm gay!"
"Don't be silly, why on earth would you ever think that?"
"Well... Harry makes me really happy and he makes me feel special, isn't that what love is? When someone makes you happy.. and when they make you feel special, uncle Nick said so and hes gay?"
"Of course baby, but you only love Harry as a friend. Boys aren't allowed to love other boys, understand?" She waited for Ben to nod his head in agreement before she continued, "Besides you've love girls since before pre-K. Don't listen to anything Uncle Nick says okay? I don't want you talking to him anymore. Alright?" She paused for a moment. Then she added "Now go run along and play with Harry, lunch will be ready soon."
That was 8 years ago. and since that talk with my mom things have changed. I know for a fact I am gay, and that I will be caught dead before anyone other then Nat finds out. Hell it took me years of church and awkward times in the locker room, before I had the guts to watch gay porn.
Yup 100% gay. And for the record, I was in love with Harry, I still am. When i turned 13, I found all of this out. Trust me that was not a very easy thing for a 13 year old to go through. I was scared and alone. I had no clue what i was doing, so i just lost all contact with Harry, and that was no easy task, considering he lives down the street. But that was around the time i met Natalie, she is dating my older brother Ashton. She wouldn't have never found out, but one day she walked in while I was watching porn. Gay porn. I thought she would have freaked out but she didn't. Her dad is also gay and has seen much worse.
Over the past 3 years we have become really close. I trust her with my life and my secrect and she trusts me with hers, she lives on the other side of town and no one knows about her dads. Not even my brother. Its sad really, but she says its better this way and believe me, I understand.
Eight years into the future, Present day.
As Ben walked down the pathway leaving his house, the one where the trees had created a canapé, he began to sing. Something he dose very often, so very often that he hardly notices when he's doing it.
Like a drum, baby don't stop beating. Like a drum, don't stop beating. Like a drum, my heart never stops beating... for you. And long after you're gone, gone, gone. I'll love you long after you're gone, gone, gone.
Had also began to dance around, another thing he did often and never remembered he was in public.
Some people dance gracefully, and settle movements. Well not Ben, His dancing (If that’s what you could call it.) Was all over the place, arms in the air, shaking his booty, moving like he did not give one single fuck, and the truth in the matter was, he didn't.
He had almost reached the bottom when a deep, slow voice spoke his name.
"Why, hello there Ben."
Fuck. "H-Hi Ha-arry"
"Oh now you're shy? How cute. Well it has been awhile, hasn't it?"
Ben had no clue how to respond, so he didn't, he simply locked his gaze on the ground. After what seemed like hours, which in reality only a minute or two.
"Aren't you gunna say something?"
"What would you prefer I say? You just saw me dance like a loon. Not like I'm just going to mention how nice the weather is."
"Don't leave out that I also hear you sing."
"Oh.. Boy. Well, sorry If your ears are bleeding. But I must be going. It was nice to see you again." Ben started to walk around Harry when Harry grabbed his arm.
"Wait! Can I walk you to where ever it is you are headed, it has been what almost 8 years since we've hung out or even talked?"
Ben was beyond embarrassed, but that wasn't going to change the fact the he was still in love with Harry. He knew he shouldn't, he gone 8 years without him, but fuck it.
"S-sure."
"So, where is it that you’re headed to anyway?"
"Oh, um, you know, the library?"
“Oh right. How could I forget, the Library. It's been years but old habits die hard, yeah? But why? It’s almost 6 on a Saturday, what would possess you to spend it in an old dusty library?”
“Why the hell would I want to spend it at some stupid party, with a bunch of dumb teenagers, getting drunk and fucking ‘round. I rather take some old dusty library over that any day. Thank you very much." His face promptly turned the colour of a ripe strawberry, had he really just said that to Harry? Was he insane? He thought Harry would have been offended but instead he simply laughed.
"Silly Ben, is that really what you think I do at parties? Sure I might have a beer or two, but I hardly get drunk or fuck around. I just like to have fun and enjoy my self with my friends. Is that so hard to understand?"
"Well when you put it that way.. I guess not."
"Good." He smirks like he owns the whole world. I suppose in my case, he does.
"Say why don't you come to the one tonight?"
"I can't tonight, I have to get to the library before it closes."
"Well next Saturday? I won't take no for an answer. I'll pick you up next Saturday at 9 at your house. See you then."
Before Ben could utter a single word, Harry had ran out of sight, his only thought, "son of a fuck.''
A/N: Well Hi guys! Sorry this was shit. I have been really sick lately. I just really wanted to post something cause I never follow through on anything. Hopefully this will get better. Not really sure where this is going...
If you were wondering, yes the title and some of the lines in here are from Macklemore's "Same love."
Not really edited, so let me know if you see any mistakes. Hopefully I will update soon?
Feel free to blame my mate Natalie for anything and everything.
Goodnight, I love you all.
SSTTR, Elizabeth <3
