Sweet but not honey

Can't Walk There

The moon was disappearing into  the dark sky that allowed the moon to be the star of the  night regardless of the real stars  around it.. I threw my loosely strapped  backpack  over my shoulder, music played through my headphones hugging neck. I could barely hear hear the music over the loud chatter between my uncle and the taxi driver. My mum, sisters, uncle and I were cramped up inside a small uber. We had no choice but to request, because my idiot uncle misplaced his car keys which we only discovered minutes before we had to head to the airport.


We spent 30 minutes looking for a  large cab  to pick us up sadly there was no hope in that so we settled for this small Toyota corolla. Not that I'm trying to complain about how my nose itches from whatever car freshener this  driver uses in his car but I must admit this is awful. It's "homemade" according to the drivers response to my  mother's question about it.

The cab smells of  blow dried hair, my mothers latte scented perfume, uncles knock off Gucci spray, this drivers funky homemade car freshener and the bubble gum my sister, Satsumi is chewing in my face.

Time flew by like a draft of wind and it would not be  long before we arrived at the airport, the roads rather empty  considering its 5 am in the morning, the cheaper flights are usually at this time after all. The suns not yet out the sky is still ever so dark  and the car is surrounded by fog. The driver repeatedly turns his window wipers on to rid the mist, its not really helping. "It feels like we're already in the plane!" my sisters says elated. I roll my eyes, not because she’s annoying but because she's never been on a plane, so how would she know how it'd feel- My thoughts are interrupted by the speed bumps at the entry of the Airport. I roll down my window to a whiff of fresh air.

I throw my sisters out the car door, gently. Closing the car door behind me, my mother  grabs both my  sisters hands. While I assist my uncle in taking out our luggage and the driver hops out as well to help us and wishes us a safe journey.

As soon as  the wheels of our suitcases start rolling, the car is off. I follow my mother who walks with my little sisters hand in hand. To think they're twins, they're rather the opposite of each other makes it easier for me to tell the difference. My sister Hannah  barely keeping up with the pace is basically being dragged around like a doll, yawning and still. Whilst Satsumi is as energetic as ever, talkative and loud.

When we enter the airport we are hit by a wind of cold air.  It feels like winter wonderland inside . The bright lights inside the airport, and soundless  air conditioning all around making the air as cold as ice.

My mother is fanning herself away with her hand and questioning how I could ever be cold. We checked our bags in and yet again there were no complications, it feels too good to be true

Soon enough we're boarding the flight, It's strange isn't it. Where are we going and why?

My father died in a unfortunate car accident 2 years ago right before he died he was planning excitedly to take h take us all and move to Canada therefore that is where we are headed today. To Canada.. where my late father saw a better future for us. My uncles tagging along well that's the nicer way to put it than  saying we're traveling with a human dog to another country because, said dog is looking for a mate. Well I said it.

I’m not excited.. I should be or should I?
Either way I'm not.

Our suitcases are loaded  and  we're heading to the airport security area, we walk under the full body scanner one by one, until the chatter  and  goodbyes between the people behind us stops for a brief few seconds when it goes off after my mother attempted to pass through it.

She forgot to take off her wedding ring... She put  on her little smile and began apologising she put it into the little baskets that pass through  the x-ray luggage scanners. We walk together like the little family we  look like are to the  line  where the boarding takes place. I look out the giant floor to roof reaching Glass walls, behind them I see our place. In it I see a reflection of myself, when I look at myself  I cant help but remember that I’m taller than Father now it would be  pretty funny to conversate on if only..

I have to stop thinking about changing the past. Dad wouldn't approve I remind myself. "We're already boarding?" I  ask my mother a bit surprised of course, There's still 30 minutes before the take off time. My chest suddenly feels heavy, I feel guilty...  My mothers sorting out the tickets  I take my two sisters hands into mine, "Wouldn't want to loose you two now?" I smile.. This is my own mechanism to calming myself down. This is for Dad, it’s for us I have to remind myself. Its alright, I'm alright

We're finding our seats while my sisters are excited and bouncy, our seats are labelled A1, 2,3, F6 and H 3  My  seat is  H 3 further down the plane so we  go our separate ways, my mother  makes sure I’m comfortable before she leaves with both my sisters and uncle. I’m seated next to a old lady in her 60s and a male I had first assumed was her grandson or something, I hadn't seen his head was faced towards  the window. He had his ear plugs unbothered and quite. He looked like his plans were to nap. "Young man would you mind exchanging seats with me..?" the old lady had asked me, I had immediately  intended to say yes before I could she spoke again, "I've got a weak bladder you see if you don’t mind of course" I got out of my seat and assisted the old woman  out of her seat. I take my small backpack and sit in the centre next to the  young boy who looks around my age. I guessed that I was wrong looking at him now he looks nothing like the old lady  even if she is rather old.  I never noticed from where I sat but his skin is pale   with light brown hair complimenting his uniquely rare green eyes. He looks like an angel.. the air suddenly changed around me maybe its the brand of perfume his using.

I've always been quick to notice different scents, fragrance’s and smells. I couldn't help but enjoy it. I couldn't help but enjoy the smell of the perfume he wore. I  could imagine how my face must be  shaded pink at the realization of how  even I think I sound like a creep. Regardless of how I was  only saying these stuff in my head.    15 minutes passed by and it would be soon when the wheels of the plane would be rolling and we'd be in the air.  

Just like in the movies the flight attendants do the regular procedure and  give information on the safety measures.  I didn't realize it until he mentioned it. "You sure are paying  a  lot of attention to the safety precautions and stuff huh?" He said in an almost whisper as he leaned over to me. "Oh ah me-? Ha-ha" I stuttered and laughed. He chuckled and  fixed his belt. His green eyes, I've never seen eyes like his except in movies. I bit the inside of my cheek while realising how confused and stupid I must have sounded when I answered him.   It only then occurred to me that the old lady hadn't returned from her bathroom trip 5 minutes ago. Was she okay?, A flight attendee was on her way down the aisle, I stopped her to  ask if she knew what happened with the old lady and if she were okay. "Oh she's absolutely okay maybe you didn't notice  one of our staff taking her upfront since its closer to our toilets, She has a small medical illness, Don't worry sir." She informed me in a polite manner. "Ah okay thank you." I responded.

The plane begins to move... Faster and faster. At first it felt like we were in a bus. Its not my first time in a plane. But ever since my fathers accident. Its been hard for me to travel in any form of transport. As embarrassing as it is to admit..

"Are you okay..?" His gentle Angelic voice asks me, I don’t hear concern in his voice for some reason it sounds more like curiosity or maybe its just because I’m scared to death  right now.


I nod my head in response, I didn’t lie to him. I'm perfectly fine, the only problem is I feel like someone just punched me in the gut. And my stomach feels like it wants to drop out.   That's perfectly fine, "I’m alright"  I sighed.  The plane left the ground and  suddenly I was  engulfed in a feeling of drunkenness in my head. A last the plane was moving  smoothly. When I opened my eyes a bottle of water was held up in front of my face, "Have some, you don’t look all that well.." He said gesturing to  take the bottle. "Thank you, sorry for the trouble..." I apologize, he doesn't even know me yet his  offering me water. He gives off a mysterious but nonchalant aura. I cant help but feel comfortable around him.  "Its alright." He smiles and I turn the opposite way. Whenever he looks at me I’m overwhelmed by his  presence, strange… but Never NEVER have I ever met such a pretty guy before, hilarious-I’m behaving like a teenage girl gushing over some guy I barely know in an aeroplane.

I can’t  help but steal a few glances at him while I take sips of  the water he gave me. Maybe I’m delusional but he has one ear-bud  in and the other out, is it because of me..?

I notice his  eyes  fixated on the book his reading.  I watch as his fingers glaze against the  pages. I wouldn't have known if I didn’t memorize how long it takes  before he flips a page, a few seconds longer than the usual. His fingers hesitant and  then still. I wouldn’t  have noticed that he was staring at me. The second my eyes met his  I blushed profusely and felt the urge to explain and defend myself before I knew it that was exactly what I was doing or so attempted to.

"Uh that book you're reading, looked rather familiar you see so I was-.."I trailed off unable to finish my sentence.   He looked like he was at the verge of laughter when he spoke," this book-..?" he said  with stifled laughter. He raised the book up exposing  a book cover of two men on a bed. I wouldn't have needed a mirror to know how red my face must have  been. "Sorry did I make this awkward?" He asked chuckling in between his  words. I look away trying to control the heat rising back to my face. “That should be my line".

He laughs,  "Sorry" he repeats, "These aren't what I usually read but my older sister recommended this" He said looking at the book. Those few seconds of awkwardness made it less awkward, funny, in a good way. It took my mind off the fear I had the entire ride on the plane.

It felt as if it had been him who took my anxiety away.