Number One Fan

Chapter 2: Antiques

Happy jumped off his step stool and rocketed toward Doe's screams. When he arrived on the scene, he caught the blue dog on one knee, restraining the droid by its ankle. In his other hand, a pair of wire cutters rapidly approached Doe's leg. It tried to struggle against his grip. And Happy assumed he was trying to abuse the poor droid. "Get away from my robot, you menace!" Happy shouted at the stranger. He picked up a hard drive that was collecting dust on one of the shelves and threw it at the customer. The blunt metal object flew over the stranger's head. Happy wouldn't stop, and shortly after, a computer component storm began to erupt in aisle two. Happy didn't even realize that the objects he was hurling could easily cause a concussion if appropriately angled. He was just so angry that everything became a fog.

"Hey—! Wait a minute!" The stranger shouted. As the bunny continued finding objects to throw at his face, he yelled for help and desperately tried to block the attack with his free hand. Help came quickly as the other store clerk rounded the corner.

"Happy! Jesus Christ, what the hell are you doing?!" Riley shouted as he grabbed Happy's wrists and pinned his hands behind his back like he was under arrest, stopping him from throwing objects. His son might've been smaller, but he thrashed around a lot. Eventually, he wriggled his way out of Riley's grip.

"Pop, he's trying to hurt DoeDoe! Stop him!"

Riley restrained Happy in a reverse hug, but that didn't stop him from struggling.

The stranger, now free to use his wire cutters, moved toward DoeDoe's leg and cut a thick rope wrapped around the robot's appendage...turns out... DoeDoe was just stuck, and the customer was trying to help him escape.

This seemed to frighten him enough that his self-preservation protocols flagged it as a dangerous situation, so once he was immediately free, Doe rapidly retreated to another section of the shop like a spooked horse. He probably wouldn't be back out for the rest of the day.

The stranger got off his knee to communicate with the shop's staff, dusting his knees off as he watched Doe vanish into the storage room. The one time he tried to be friendly and help someone, he got computer chips and hard drives thrown at his head. "D-O units are usually clumsy like that; they don't have tactile sensors in their feet, so they can't detect ropes and wires on the ground. That's why Daughtler-Hirabayashi only produced about a handful of them before they were discontinued, as they were a safety hazard... Speaking of hazards, is this how you normally treat customers?" The individual snipped angrily.

Riley released Happy from the reverse hug and then pinched the tip of his ear. Despite his pained protests, Riley continued conversing with the stranger as if Happy weren't squealing like a pig. Riley was just hoping he could salvage the relationship... Losing a customer is like getting your tail caught in a hydraulic door. It's not pleasant. "Of course not—! My son is... passionate about robot rights."

"What about organic rights? You know? I have half a mind to press charges for assault. He could've killed me!" The stranger glared at Happy and disappointedly placed his hands on his hips.

Happy hissed in discomfort as his father still held onto his ear. But that still didn't stop him from getting his two cents in. He smacked his lips at Howie, "Oh—stop being so dramatic! You were trying to hurt Doe. I was protecting him. Dad—you have to believe me. I don't like him. He's slimy," Happy snarled, trying to lunge at the stranger, but he was held back.

"Happy!" Riley, shocked, released his son and took two horrified steps back as if Happy had pulled a gun on him.

"My word! The mouth on that one! If you haven't noticed, I'm Howie, the ship's yeomen. I have some pull with the concierge, Maxion. Perhaps you've heard of him? How will he react when I tell him that his valuable shipboard store space is being used for a boxing ring? I don't think that'll bode well for your next six-month lease evaluation." Howie threatened with a twisted smile.