I never thought that I'd ever write again,
about that man who stands tall and walking proud...
i never thought I'd feel this again,
all raging and screaming out loud.
Thinking how i let you down,
you were a sunshine to my troublesome chaos,
very stable with no flaws
yet very far to lay on...
Only now that I realize that you have always been in my heart,
somewhere inside that red muscle
You lay unaffected like a piece of art
What were the chances?
fighting instead of running away.
Is it regret or nostalgia that i'm feeling
Every now and then it comes knocking on my doorway.
To the notebook you left me with,
in which you put all what was left of us.
as if it was all a myth
flashing through in front of my eyes.
To think i moved on and loved after you,
biggest lie I've ever told.
you sacrificed me to your blues,
And I didn't hesitate to leave.
Now i sit back and think,
was it ever real ?
you, before you, and after you?
Has it ever been real?
That I'll never know.
you see, I wrote 13 poems,
and none were about you.
I then wrote 20,
and only one was about you..
only the shortest one,
that says : I actually love you.
