The Piano Teacher

Chapter 31

The anger in her father's face made Charlotte wish she was dead.

It had taken her a few days to gather the courage to tell her father everything. Every time she made the move to tell him, her throat would get blocked up and she couldn't say anything. And he just kept talking about all his plans, taking her back to the city, getting her back in those theaters, having her meet her next suitor.

It was only when she took a shot of whisky from her uncle's stash that she managed to collect herself and gather just enough courage to speak. She told him everything about her and Nels Oleson, how she wasn't sure if she wanted to return to the city, how she wasn't interested in the suitor he had chosen for her. But the more she spoke, the more she knew that her words meant nothing to him, save for a source of frustration.

Her father rarely got angry. Disappointed, yes, but not angry. But this time, he was angry, and it shocked her. Her uncle had been out working at the mill when she told him all this, so she was left to fend for herself. He tore himself out of his chair and paced about the cabin, the bleak, snowy light from outside making his eyes look as cold as ever.

"A shopkeeper," he spat in disgust. "A shopkeeper as old as I am, that's the reason you want to throw away everything I'm trying to give you?"

"Father," she said, but it was as if he couldn't hear her, as if she had no voice at all.

"You have absolutely no future with that man, you realize that, don't you? I forbid you to marry him. What a disaster you've gotten yourself in; I intend to drag you right back out of it. I sent you to Walnut Grove for you to get well and nothing more, not for you to develop ridiculous relationships with the citizens. And now that you are well, or at least well enough, I will drag you back to the city even if I have to take you back kicking and screaming. Letting you waste away your life here is not an option. You are my daughter; you have my reputation to maintain."

"Nels can provide for me," she insisted. "His business is very successful."

"Successful," James snapped, taken aback by her words. "In what way? In that just enough people in town come to the place to barely keep it alive? Walnut Grove will end up a ghost town at some point, I'm sure of it, and that man's business will be nothing. The suitor I chose for you is a lawyer, respectable, well-known, rich. That's what you need: security, prestige."

"You saw how the other suitors turned out," Charlotte replied, her heart hurting more and more as her father spoke. He rarely raised his voice to her, and she felt like she was crumbling to nothing. "They were unkind, and they always left because of my health."

"Well, you're in much better shape now. You might have better luck. And this lawyer strikes me as having a fine character; his name is Johnathan. I believe you can grow to like him."

"But I could always fall ill again," she said, tears in her eyes. "You know that. It always happens. And when it does happen, and continues to happen, you know that lawyer won't stick around. None of the men you ever chose for me had the patience or compassion to care for a sick woman. But Nels does. Even when I was at my weakest, he was there, helping me, caring for me, and he never minded. Isn't that what I need the most?"

"I will determine what you need most," her father shot back, pointing a finger at her. "That man is too old for you, too poor, and married. The very fact that you're bringing him up to me is ridiculous. It shows me that you're still not capable of making reasonable decisions for yourself."

She felt such a bolt of anger in her then, rising in her like bile in her throat. She had never spoken back to her father before, but now, she couldn't stop herself. "Reasonable decisions? Father, you lost everything. Everything! You sold Mother's pearls so you could gamble! How can you tell me that I am the one unable to make reasonable decisions?"