Fat Girl Problems

Fat Girl Problem 31: Connor

My eyes drifted to where he sat. To my surprise, he was already looking at me. As our eyes met he smiled that beautiful smile of his. My heart hammered against my chest as I smiled back.

"Oh god," Cece groaned.

I blushed and turned my attention to Cece who was shaking her head. She knew about everything.

"What?" I asked.

"You guys are disturbingly cute," Cece said.

I laughed. "Why don't you like romance?"

"Bad experience."

My eyes widened as she looked away awkwardly.

Before I could comfort her, she said, "It's fine. Let's not talk about it."

"Okay," I said gently.

I wanted to talk about it, but I knew not to push her. If Cece wanted to talk about it she would have. That was how people worked. Only when ready they would let their feelings out.

"So, what are you and Connor now?" Cece suddenly asked.

My cheeks turned completely red. Honestly, I had no idea. We never spoke about the incredible kiss we shared, we hadn't even brought up the idea of anything happening between us. For the past two weeks we had just focused on me and my acceptance. That had been going well between us. Connor helped me not hate myself completely, but I still wasn't pleased with the idea of being larger. At least Connor said we would spend more time together.

Yes, I like Connor. That truth was the kiss brought the truth to me. The reason why I kept pushing away the idea of Connor and I was because I did like him. That scared me though, it still did actually. A part of me thought Connor just kissed me back because he felt bad for me. I hated the thought of that, so I tried hiding my feelings for him by focusing on my acceptance of myself. That wasn't a good plan though. All I could think about was Connor and his amazing self.

"Quinn?" Cece said.

"Yeah, oh sorry," I mumbled.

I realized I had zoned out and began to blush even more. This was what I meant about Connor being all I could think of.

"I don't know," I said, staring down at my desk. "I don't think we're going to be anything though."

"Quinn, I'm pretty sure Connor likes you. I've never seen a guy go so far for a girl."

"But it's because I look like his sister," I muttered sadly.

That probably meant he definitely didn't like me. You couldn't possibly have feelings for someone that reminded you of your sister. Especially a sister that is deceased. Speaking about that, I really needed to talk to him about it. I wondered if he was really okay about being part of the reason she was dead.

"Yeah, because you're just as warmhearted and innocent as her," Cece assured.

My eyes widened. "You knew Connor's sister?"

"Yeah, remember how I said I knew Connor for a while."

"Oh yeah," I said, remembering our phone call.

Now a series of questions formed in my mind, but I didn't ask Cece. The truth was I wanted to hear the answers from Connor. It was his past and feelings. Only he could tell me the complete details of it.

"Connor, can we talk?" I asked as he placed his textbooks into his locker.

His eyes drifted to me casually. "Sure."