A Long Day

In a small hilly daley kingdom the people were blessed by a king, and blessed was that king from all the proper and respectable authorities of the heavens and earth. He was huge, and strong, and fast, and keen with his blade, and fierce with his fist, and under his protection they feared nothing from no other. In all manner of respects was he perfect, save for one small manner: he believed that the sun was his cousin, and a shiftless one to boot.

"Why does he shirk my lands so?" he complained to his court on a beautiful summer afternoon. "Look! See how he slowly begins to slink into the west! What's so wonderful over there that he should quit my kingdom so eagerly! Is not the cathedral's steeple so high and grand? Are not my fields ripe and full? Are not the trees so thick and lustrous? Whyfor have you, my advisors, permitted some secret shame to thus rob me of his kinship?! Whence did this wound against his pride occur?! Woe!"
"I'm sure we can remedy this matter," implored the eldest and closest of the king's counselors, who could see his swording hand clawing restlessly at his pommel. "We shall consult the court polymath, wise Gum, who knows all manner of truths of earth and water and beyond. In her hands we may place a matter of this import, as it lies beyond our humble means."

"Wonderful," said the king. "And if this fails, I will know you have all only managed to further insult my cousin and will chop you all up."

***

Wise Gum did not appreciate being dragged from her study, nor did she enjoy being introduced into a category of court personnel liable to be chopped up, and she was a little less than pleased when she was informed that it was laid upon her efforts and skills to prevent them all from being chopped up.

"A little notice would have made this matter easier," she told the king, with a distinctly unwise amount of peevishness.

"Fear not," said the king, whose mood at the moment was too expansive and buoyant to notice little things like other people. "As long as my cousin tarries tonight at my table, I shall be content. That leaves you at least three hours to entire him, does it not?"

"So it does," said wise Gum. "I will go now to prepare my arguments and arts."
"Excellent," said the king. "I look forwards to not having to chop you all up."

So wise Gum left the company of the cheerful king and left the anxious court and strode into the town below the king's estate and made very fast friends with several very fast woodcutters and lo! The king was halfway through his evening meal before he realized something strange had happened.

"Ho!" he called at the glow through the banquet hall's western windows. "Why do we still not need candles lit at this late an hour? Has my cousin decided to stay for the meal?"
"Indeed," said wise Gum. "And overnight, if it pleases you."
"Greatly!" said the king, shedding many familial tears. "So greatly! I have half a mind to run outside and embrace him myself!"
"A bit too much too quickly," cautioned wise Gum. "Give your cousin his space and privacy while he visits outside the standard hours of the day, please."
"Of course, of course, of course," sniffled the king, pulling himself together. "At least for three days, I think. At least. And if he remains distant after that time I will know you have all told him foul lies about me and will chop you all up."

Wise Gum bowed as low as was diplomatically necessary and excused herself from the meal. She hurried out the manor doors, passed by an exhausted and sweaty crowd of deeply overworked loggers, charcoal-burners, and woodcutters making a very large and beautiful bonfire of all the tallest and oldest trees in the area, and headed back down into the town, where she began knocking on the doors of every sail-stitcher, tailor, paper-miller, tent-maker, painter, and muralist in sight, and a few that weren't. And they were just the start.

***

The sun continued to grace the king's estate with his presence at all hours, and so enraptured was he rendered by this that he went very nearly the full three days without complaining. But in the evening of the final day his attention span began to wane, his lip grew a pout, and he chopped off the littlest fingers on both the hands of his steward for clinking a mug too loudly when serving him.