As I sit here in my room. Wondering why I'm doing this. Short a answer? —————————
Because I just felt like it, it felt right, and it felt like it had a sense of purpose.
But why did I decided to do it now, why didn't I start it back then... or maybe the other day's. Maybe because this time I've got something to prove, or maybe just because I want to feel like i'm useful, not like the disappointment I am now.
"Why do we choose to do things when we find value in it. Why can't it just be valuable because we are the one that did it?" - The boy who Dreams to be A Man.
And now, as I wrote that quote. I already feel like I'm at a dead end.
"Why is that?"
I asked myself.
As I ask myself questions, the deeper my thoughts become, the more answers I find, Not just about life but also about Me.
As I continue on, my mind already wanders about the plans for the future, what I want to do, and what I want to achieve.
"And there I realized... We can't achieve what's up ahead when we haven't achieved what is in the present. Its like wanting to go somewhere without traveling the distance" -The Lost Child.
"There is also no Shorcuts, only Cheating."
-The Great Pretender
And why do I say that?
You can't just become rich because you wanted to, you can't just have that dream body because you desire it and you can't just have that girl because you like her. It's impossible, you can't take a shortcut.
But you can cheat.
You can do illegal things and steal money from someone who worked hard for them.
You can can use steroids to achieve your dream body much more easier.
"And as I stepped onto the last part. I realized when loving or liking someone. There is no way of going trough a shortcut or cheating your way in their life. I realized, that some things are meant to be acted on, worked on." -The kid who just wants to be loved.
Because love is vast, love is deeper than the ocean. We thought that love is simple, but no.
Love is Patient
Love is Kind
Love is Caring
Love is Tender
And it goes on.
"There are some things that are impossible of achieving without understanding it's value. The more Valuable a thing or someone is. The more sacrifices and effort is required. Make it love, Make it money and make it Anything. A dream becomes a reality when you act and believe in it long enough"
-An uneducated Philosopher.
And even I ask myself. How can I? An uneducated child, be sure of my words... be confident about my decisions, and actions.
"The answer is. Dying believing in myself is better than Living doubting and overthinking every thing I do." -The one who believes his reflection.
And now, as we reach near the end.
I have realized a lot. I'm just
A boy who dreams to be a man
but the deeper I went down the rabbit hole, the harder it got for me to find the right way... The darker it got.
And at that point on, I knew I was just
A Lost Child,
unsure of where to go, what is right, what is wrong, and especially who I was.
And because of the confusion I forgot who I was, I was unsure of who I really was, I tried to be different, to be unique, and to find myself. People were convinced, but I found out, that I was just
A Great Pretender.
I was already more than lost, I was stranded, confused, and tried to be someone I wasn't. I hate myself more than anyone that hates me, i wanted to change because it felt like I was lacking, not enough. But now I know why I felt this way. It was becase
I'm Just a kid wanting to be loved.
And in all reality I walked trough my journey alone. I pushed trough without the guidance of my parents, I grew without the support of friends, I survived without the care of a partner, and I LEARNED without the teachings of a Father. I brought myself up, bit by bit, I learned how ride a bike with my own hands, I learned how to make money with no guidance, I learned life, personalities and logic. I guess I'll call myself
An Uneducated Philosopher
And now, i went trough thick and thin with only myself, without taking pity of myself, without begging for help. I sacrificed for
Myself, knowing that one day I'll make it, knowing one day My dreams will be in the palm of my hands. Even if I hated myself, i had no choice but to accept I am myself.
And that is why
I am someone who believes in my
Reflection.
