Blown Apart

29

Beca POV

As we open the door my heart is pounding probably just like everyone's elses. Bronte smiles weakly, not having the strength to do more. The other kids are all rushed in the room. Cody did a better job at hiding the shock but the twins have never been subtle. Both of their eyes went wide and they paused walking. I nudged them slightly forward as no one said anything still and I could see Bronte getting more and more uncomfortable.
"Hey Monkey, we brought some board games, we thought that might be fun." I say moving the kids further forward hoping they would take the que to act normal. Bronte nodded and locked down at her lap. She was getting self conscious. Chloe moved immediately to Bronte's side and moved her over so that Chloe could sit too. I moved the games from Cece's lap and put them on the couch that was in the room. I wanted people to settle before we jump in but seeing the kids not talking makes me doubt that choice.
"Let's play a game then, what do you want?" Bronte shrugged as Chloe asked the question. I had never known the room full of our kids to be so quiet but no one really knew what to say.
"Anyone want to choose a game?" Everyone casually looked at each other while Bronte looked out of the damn window.
"Let's play Uno." Chloe again being the one to save the moment. The others nod and try not to look like they are staring at Bronte. I reached over and got the cards out and started to shuffle them. I could see Bronte moved her leg to the side under the cover so that more people could sit on the bed. She then leaned over to Chloe and whispered something in her ear which was returned with a nod.

I have never felt so distant with Bronte but I guess that's partly because I freaked out but can you blame me. My baby was sitting falling apart. I couldn't touch her without feeling how real this was. Is it selfish? Putting myself before her when she needed someone right now. But she had Chloe and me, just from a slight distance.
"Bronte and I are gonna be on the same team so deal us together." I looked at my wife but she nodded at me to tell me to continue. Everyone was looking around and not at each other. I'm worried I may have done this too soon, or maybe the kids weren't ready. Well it's too late. At least they have all seen each other so who knows how long this will last. Maybe we should have had her with me and Chloe more so she is used to more people first. But right now by the looks of it we won't be here long.

The game went on until the end of the round and only small talk was said. And that was from everyone but Bronte. She definitely isn't ready to see the large family she can barely do us. But at least we are all here now. As I started collecting the cards to deal another round, Cece broke the silence.
"I'm kinda tired. Can we play cards another day? I have really enjoyed this but I think I need to sleep." Cece said, smiling at Bronte.
"Maybe do one more round?" I suggest, I think the social aspect will be good for Bronte. Being around people will help her.
"Beca, let's call it a day. The kids are all still recovering and still need some sleep." It's difficult to call a day when it's barely mid day but I'm going to be outvoted either way.
"Fine. That's absolutely fine." I mutter putting all the cards together and putting them into the box.
"Beca, don't - " Chloe starts and I cut her off before she could finish.
"No it's fine, I thought it would be good we all socialised again as a family but if we aren't ready that's okay." I collect everything up as people start standing up and heading to the doors.
"Hey you want one of us to stay while you go to sleep?" I heard Chloe ask Brontë as she gets out of the bed to help me take all the kids back. I don't hear I response so I assume Brontë just shock her head. I head over to the bed as well.
"Well, let's tuck you all in and we will come check on you later? How does that sound? And if you chance your mind and want one of us here just get someone to call us okay?" I said and she nodded as I began tucking her in like I did when she was little and she gave me a smile. I kissed her on the forehead careful not to touch the top of her head.
There was a chorus of I love you'd to Brontë as we made the way out of the door. The walk back to Cece's room was silent but as soon as Cece got through the door she broke down along with Brynnlee and Cody looked thoroughly shaken.
I helped move Cece back to her bed and moved next to her and held her. Chloe held Brynnlee and Chloe's parents and Katie went next to Cody. There was silence as the adults in the room looked between themselves and then at the kids.
"I just didn't expect that. I knew she was bad, I knew things didn't look good but I..." Cece stopped, I could tell they were all thinking the same thing.
"It's scary, I understand. That's not how you ever want to see family and remember she won't be like that forever. She is on a lot of meds which makes her tired and a bit all over the place. She just needs time." Chloe says stroking Brynnlee's hair.
"But there was so many machines and tubes. She barely even looks at us." Brynnlee cries and I can see my whole family looking pale. It may have been right for Brontë to see her family but it may not be right for the family.