In the depths of darkness, I was lost and alone,
My spirit weary, my heart turned to stone.
But then He appeared, like a guiding light,
A beacon of hope, shining so bright.
Before him i didn't even knew i could be happy, i could smile, i could cherish the moments.
SOME YEARS AGO....
The sun was rising high, painting the sky with gold
Unlike the stormy mood of mine. I, Lexie Boikio was walking on a long path to my school escaping the scrimmage environment of my house. I listlessly reached the class and sat on my seat. With my head down I was listening to the teacher being not interested in what she was saying until she spoke my name. I looked up and saw A boy standing beside my teacher there he was James Arthur A Tall and handsome, like a gentle breeze,With eyes that sparkle, like stars in the seas. His gaze, a glimpse into a world so deep, Where secrets and dreams forever keep. I was impressed though I didn't let it reflect on my face. I got concious when he started walking towards me and sat beside me and said "Hi" that voice When he said "Hi," was like a gentle breeze, Soft and warm, carrying a hint of ease. A friendly tone, inviting and kind,
Leaving a sense of warmth behind Making me feel weaves a tapestry of emotions untold. I couldn't utter a word making him confused. Well, I was embarrassed. We then focused on class.
At the time of dispersal all were happy as it was time to go home but I was upset as I have to go to the place I hate. Yeah I hate my "House" because that house is not a home. I was born in a wealthy family consisting of Me, My dad and My mom. We were so happy. We used to go on play dates, watch movies, go to park together like an usual happy family. We three were bestfriends and a perfect family but the phrase "Good things doesn't last forever" became true.
On 18th March, 2013 I was 5 years old at that time. It was evening and I was with my "Niny" She was my Nanny.
She used to stay with me when Mom and dad used to go to work. We were drawing a landscape in my colouring book while waiting for my parents When Our telephone started ringing. Niny went to pick up the call and as soon as she picked up the call She was numb like her world collapsed and
That telephone slipped from her hands. She started sobbing. I called her from my room several times as she took so long to come back but she didn't answered So I ran towards her from my room only to see her standing blankly near the telephone. I shook her and called her name "Niny-Niny" "What happened?" . She came back to reality looked at me and hugged me tightly and started crying loudly. I was confused i didn't know how to react So I again asked her what happened. To which while sobbing and wiping her tears she replied "your mom and dad went on a little trip. It will take them some days to come back. So, they told me to tell you this and they also told me that they love you so much and they are always present beside you" . Hearing this I was Sad and i asked her why she was crying? She replied that dust went inside her eyes. I said "okay". She feed me dinner and made me sleep after that. Next day,
She dropped me off to the school. Days went, Years went but my parents didn't came and everyday i asked her the same question every night before sleeping that "Niny, when will my parents come?" She never replied to this question and she used divert my mind after this. I was 7 year old now, I loved my Niny so much as she was the only one who was there for me at that time but she also lefted me. One day, it was a usual night she was making me sleep and I was asking her the same question. She said "okay Child, I know you are still young but it's the time to tell you the truth". I replied "What truth?" She said, "Your parents are no longer with us. They died in a car accident on the day i told you they went on a trip. You were still a kid that time So I didn't told you this. I was on a hault when she said this. I was processing what she just said. My whole world suddenly collapsed and I was numb. She looking at me hugged me and said "I am sorry Dear Child but I am too going to leave you soon as I am suffering from cancer I know you will be mad at me, you will even curse me someday but that's what God has decided. I am not good enough to be with you for the lifetime". That night was horrible my world completely collapsed. I wasn't able to utter a word. She was hugging me all night and i was numb and blank in her embrace whole night. Next day, when I woke up she had already lefted the world, leaving me alone in this world. She lefted a note for me which said "I love you all. I'll always be with you in spirit. I'll be watching over you from above.Thank you for being a part of my life.I am at peace now."
I finally cried as loud as possible the tears were streaming down my face, My voice become shaky filled with sobs, and My body was trembling. I cried whole day.
My paternal Uncle wanted to adopt me but I refused because I had the fear that everyone is going to leave me oneday. My Uncle didn't forced me but he used to send me money for expenses and pay my fees for the school.
It's been 10 years now but the dates 18th March and 23rd February still gives me chills. I now live alone in that big house with myself. It's gets depressing sometimes but I have no other option. It's not like i didn't tried to make friends I did but no-one was forever. None of them was able to heal my wound. So, i stopped searching for peace....
