MY SPIRITUAL JOURNEY

THE JOURNEY OF ZAMA DLALA

CHAPTER ONE

I look at my mother sleeping helplessly on the mattress, failing to even turn her body around. I take a deep breath and blink away in tears. Sighs! Life currently. I'm just sitting waiting for my father to be back home with her milk. That's what she can stomach. If it's not Amahewu it’s milk. And throughout the day she can only stomach absolutely nothing. That’s how her sickness has gotten to that point. I miss her. I miss having conversations with her. Stokvel gossip and peeping through the windows watching our neighbors arguing day in and day out. I find myself smiling. How I miss all those moments with her.

“Mama. I will be outside.” I say standing up. She will not respond, but I know she heard me. I step out of the house and burst in tears. Why me? Why does God always have to put me in a difficult position? I don't even understand. They say we do not question him. I wipe the tears and close my eyes taking a massive breath. Not so long ago, it was my father with a swollen leg. He couldn’t walk, and I had to cater for the both of them. It was hard, but I had no choice. Luckily, my father healed in time and went back to work. His legs still give him issues sporadically.

“Yah neh!” I say to myself and begin to sweep the yard. I wonder where is my birth mother. We hardly keep in touch. We don't have a mother and daughter relationship. It's just Hie and bye. That's our conversation. I honestly don't know what went wrong. We used to be so tight. We once had an unbreakable bond. Years went by, and she started to switch on me. I was too young to notice and understand. I kept on getting disappointed over and over again until I decided to take a step back. The empty promises. The lies and the mistreatment. The woman in the house is my stepmother. We are one and one would never say that she is not my birth mother. A loving mother who always knew how to make me confident by supporting me in my decisions and interests and accepted me the way I am. She doesn't try to force things on me that are not meant for me. She worries about my well-being, happiness, and dreams. Furthermore, she knows how to comfort me when I am down and will constantly try to help me in whatever way she can. Moreover, she puts limits on my behavior. By putting limits, she showed me her affection too because she just wants what’s best for me…

“Zama!” I hate being fitfuled when my thoughts are being disturbed. I see one of my classmates running towards my direction, continuously screaming my name like a mad woman.

“Zama!” I drop the broom and make my way to stand by the gate.

“Yin?” I ask. Sikholiwe is known as a gossip influencer. That is how she is well known at school. She was named after Luisa and to be honest, that name suits her perfectly fine. This one can share hidden information. I wish to know who is her source cause the girl is superb at this. I watch her panting trying to catch her breath.

“Si…Sizakele?” She says in-between her heavy breathings trying to catch her breath. I roll my eyes and fold my hands against my chest. I don't have time for this. Not only that, but I have grade 11 exams to prepare myself for. Trails are no child's play.

“You haven't heard?” She asks.

“Heard what?” I am just annoyed.

She takes a deep breath. “She was knocked down by a taxi right before my eyes.” She opens her eyes wide with shock on written on her face.

I laugh and clap my hands once and place them on my hips.

“You have started. Luisa, I have countless chores to do.” I try walking away but she grabs my arm. She's not only grabbing my arm but dragging me with.