The rest of the day went by quickly, Taylor was numb for a few hours and had to eat a soft lunch but she didn't protest – the thought of continuing with the eating disorder and totally wrecking her teeth was enough motivation, at least for one day. That evening Tree and her ate dinner together and Tree left Taylor alone for the evening. Taylor FaceTime'd her Mum to ask about her treatment side effects and Andrea assured her it wasn't as bad as she was expecting.
Taylor wanted to work out but she felt her body was like lead – instead she headed to bed, curling up and falling asleep early, hoping to wake up feeling refreshed.
She did sleep well but woke up early, around 5.30am. She knew she had a few hours until anyone bothered her so she decided to throw on her gym clothes and start a workout – following a 60 minute cardio workout on YouTube. She felt great for moving her body again – feeling some of the pressure evaporating already. While she was already warmed up she decided to push through and looked for another, more intensive workout. Halfway through she realised she was dizzy, she sat down on the floor but when she realised she was going to pass out she laid herself down gently. Her vision went black and she felt herself slipping away. Her last thought was 'oh my god I am going to die here alone...'
A few short minutes later Taylor opened her eyes, disorientated and confused as to why she was on the cold floor. As her mind cleared she remembered what had happened and tried to sit herself up slowly. Her whole body was shaking and her ears began ringing. She took a few deep breaths as she tried to stop herself from fainting again. She had to lay herself back down and wait until her heart had slowed down slightly before attempting to move again.
After another 5 minutes when she couldn't sit up without horrendous dizziness she knew she had messed up. She pulled out her phone, squinting to try and reduce the double vision she was experiencing. She tapped Tree's contact, taking a deep breath as the phone rang, as soon as she heard the phone connect she spoke up – trying to keep her voice steady "Tree? I need help"
The wobble in Taylor's voice had the redhead terrified "I'm on my way"
Within 5 minutes Tree was at her door, letting herself in. She walked into the room and saw Taylor on the floor, she rushed over immediately – fear lacing her own voice "what happened?"
Taylor met her with sad eyes "I just wanted to try and exercise a bit. I hadn't even done much but I got dizzy and here I am again, on the floor"
Tree nodded, wanting to berate the girl but deciding to save the lecture for later "OK, let's try and get you up"
Taylor shook her head "every time I move, everything sways a bit"
Tree sat back for a second "OK, your blood sugars are probably really low again. If I get you a glass of orange juice will you drink it for me?"
Taylor didn't want to, but she was genuinely scared right now so she gave in, nodding slowly. Tree rushed off, reappearing moments later with a glass of juice and a banana in hand.
Taylor reached out, her whole body trembling, as she attempted to take the glass. Tree was beginning to panic as Taylor spilt the juice, unable to lift the weight of the glass. She held it for the blonde, tipping it against her lips gently "Tay. We need to ring somebody"
Taylor frowned "I rung you..."
Tree nodded "I know - but this is too much! You are running yourself into the ground"
Taylor grabbed her hand, squeezing tightly "I'm sorry – I'll drink the juice, eat the banana – get my sugars up then I'll be fine. It was stupid, I know that now"
Tree stared at her – the panic and desperation written all over her face – "You'll drink the juice, eat the banana then we will get you up. Then you'll have breakfast with me and we will reassess. OK?"
Taylor nodded "OK"
They sat on the floor for another few minutes, Tree lifting her the glass for Taylor until all the fluid had gone. Taylor then sat, slowly eating the banana until she felt strong enough to get up.
Once she had managed to get off the floor, onto the sofa, Tree left her to lay for a minute before rushing off to make breakfast.
15 minutes later she brought her a slice of toast with mashed avocado, chilli flakes and a fried egg.
Taylor stared down at it, not wanting to eat – but also terrified of the effect on her body now. She had never felt this unwell before – never felt like she might actually die and she knew this was her rock bottom.
She reached out, taking a small bite – fighting against the screaming voices with every second.
Tree reached out, smoothing her hair down gently before giving the woman an ultimatum "Taylor. It's time to step this up – what we are doing isn't helping. SO either you have somebody stay with you 24/7 or you go into hospital. They're your choices."
Taylor dropped the toast down, pushing the plate away. Disgust written over her face as she yelled and screamed and cried. Tree sat there, her face sad as Taylor ranted and begged. Only when the blonde became frantic did Tree step in again "I think you should go and stay with your Mum for a while. You can both recover together"
Taylor snorted "I'm not putting this on her. I can't. I won't."
Tree nodded, her voice firm – no hint of the usual kindness "Then we need to get you to the doctor today. See what they say. This cannot carry on Taylor and if I leave you here alone I truly believe you will end up dead and I am NOT going to let that happen."
Taylor's jaw dropped, and panic began to set in. She felt like she was being forced into a corner, she decided that they couldn't make her do anything – she pushed herself forward, ready to stand and walk away but once again her body betrayed her – her arms collapsing and her legs shaking.
She looked towards Tree, seeing the tears in the redhead's eyes as she realised that Taylor's body was too weak to move "Please Tay, let us help you. You're scaring me"
Taylor looked down at her feet, biting her lip before admitting defeat "OK – I'll go and stay with Mum. But no doctors, not yet"
Tree nodded, she wasn't happy and knew they were going to have to drag Taylor there soon, whether she liked it or not, but that was a fight for another day. Right now she needed to just get her to safety and hope that Andrea could get through to her.
Tree helped Taylor upstairs and made the call while Taylor packed a few bags. Andrea was terrified when she heard what had happened and they agreed there and then that she would not be going home alone again until she was well enough.
Within the hour they were heading towards Andrea's house, Taylor weeping quietly in the car again "I've really messed up haven't I?"
Tree squeezed her hand "We will get you back on track – you just need to give in. Let go of the control."
Taylor nodded, aware that she was running out of time.
As soon as they got to the house Andrea pulled Taylor in to a tight hug "Mum....I'm scared"
Andrea shook her head "Shhh, don't worry. We will fix it."
They moved into the house and Tree gave her a full rundown of what had happened while Taylor had a nap on the sofa – exhausted by the events of the day. As they discussed it further they decided between them that they would give her 24 hours. If she ate everything then they would carry on pushing through, but any more refusals and they would schedule the appointment with the Doctor. There was no more time to sit back and watch.
At exactly 1pm they woke her up for lunch. Taylor was physically shaking as she sat down, glaring at the full plate of food in front of her. She knew they were onto her and she forced down about half of the food before the disgust built up in her and she felt like she was going to burst. She dropped her fork down, frustration exploding "I'm not doing anymore".
Tree swallowed her own food forcing down the rising panic at the battle about to happen "You are doing amazing, but you're not done yet"
Taylor shook her head, turning to her Mum – knowing she was the weaker link who was more likely to let her get away with not eating but Andrea just squeezed her hand "Keep going darling, you can finish that"
Taylor groaned, throwing her head back "I am full. I feel sick. I can't physically do anymore. Please?!"
Tree stepped in again – "We understand how hard this is for you – really we do. But the alternative is we seek out professional help. Go and see the doctor. Get a meal plan in place – with the right amount of calories and nutrients. Get some dietician support. Specific therapy. We cannot continue with you not eating. This is your last chance"
Taylor cried harder, her tone frantic "if we go to see them – they will try and put me in hospital again!"
Andrea shrugged "maybe that's what you need. You are killing yourself darling. You are severely underweight. Malnourished. Your brain isn't working properly – you can't make logical decisions right now."
Taylor jerked, as if she had been physically hit. She looked between them – spiralling quickly "I don't want to be in a hospital! I want to stay at home. I don't want everyone to know. I want to be in control" her voice broke on the last word, her anguish evident.
Tree reached over, shaking her gently "You are in control here – you can choose to recover. To stop this illness from controlling you totally. We can support you but we cannot physically do it for you – so we need you to be really brave and to keep eating – to fight back against that voice screaming at you right now"
Taylor's eyes flicked to the food "I'm so uncomfortable right now"
Tree nodded "you're going to have to keep stepping outside of your comfort zone. You have to do the thing that scares you the most, because if you don't....if you don't then things are going to spiral out of our control very quickly. You will end up in hospital. You will end up being forced into it – whether you like it or not. And I think we can all agree that doing it here – with us – is the kinder option. We love you, we don't want you to feel so uncomfortable, so out of control. But we are running out of options here"
