Duskwood - For all the Ghosts that are never gone

Chapter 16: The Blackwater Lake

Our group had divided into more than just two sides. There was Hannah and me, having decided that we no longer wanted to keep the whole Richy issue under wraps. Then there were Jessy and Thomas, who misinterpreted our behaviour to think that Hannah and I had decided to forgive Richy unconditionally about everything. To me, there was a huge difference between believing that he was truly sorry for what he had done and forgiving him for all his bad deeds. So far, I didn't even know the answer to if I would ever be able to do so.

The fact Jessy was punishing me with complete silence fuelled the fire of my emotional hell. The last hour and a half my thoughts had been driven by the desire to get back home. I don't know how many times I had opened the chat with Phil during this period to ask him to take me to the train station. I had never written this wish.

The only thing I had been able to do was write to him that I wanted to talk to him on the phone in the evening. Presumably out of the absurd hope that Jake would still fulfil his promise at some point.

Staying in Duskwood meant holding on to it.

Going home meant letting go.

In that way, I wasn't any better Jessy.

I was still clinging to the illusion that everything would work out in the end, at least on this point. Instead of finally facing the bitter reality. But the rational part of my brain had managed to set the deadline for tonight. No matter how much the emotional part of my brain was able to rebel against it. I knew that in the end it would also be grateful to finally have the chance to let go.

What was I still doing here after my friendships were falling apart?

Thomas and Hannah's relationship was also crumbling increasingly. In the last few days, I witnessed how his overprotectiveness was literally suffocating Hannah. Meanwhile, with Thomas literally pressurising her to continue denying Richy's existence, it was Hannah who completely ignored him.

I didn't have a particularly positive outlook for their future. I didn't believe that Thomas would be able to deal with all the negative issues that surrounded Hannah. He was far too much in need of harmony and blind to Hannah's needs. It had to be difficult for her to always have to pretend the world was perfect because her partner couldn't deal with her depression.

Maybe if I left Duskwood and Hannah wasn't reminded by me every day of what had happened, there might still be hope.

Cleo and Dan weren't thrilled with Hannah's suggestion either. However, they didn't let us feel it the way Jessy did with me. Of course, Dan didn't miss the opportunity to let loose one of his sarcastic remarks every now and then. He would probably implode if he didn't reach a minimum number during the day. Cleo, on the other hand, had started to slowly load our things back into the cars. I suspected it was a coping strategy to escape the awkward silence.

If the barbecue was already cold, she would certainly have packed it in her car boot in no time at all and we would have long since started our return journey home. I would certainly be packing my suitcase by now.

And would finally go home...

Lilly had sided with me and Hannah. But I didn't think she did this because she agreed with us. She avoided the subject of Richy just like the others. I could only speculate about her exact motives.

Maybe she didn't want a fight with Hannah and me?

Or just not with me?

She might still be worried that our friendship was on shaky ground. All because of the video she had posted back then. I had forgiven her for that mistake long ago. To be honest, I didn't even know if I wouldn't have done the same in her place. Besides, I had to give Lilly credit for one thing: instead of bombarding me with a parade of excuses, she stood up for her mistake and tried to limit the damage.