Trained | 18+

Chapter Ten 🌶️

Tanner is so hot and cold. To Evan he calls me a slave, he calls me Delia when I am disobedient, he calls me darling to show me off, he calls me baby when I've done something to please him. I'm catching on to his habits. But to Angel he is kind. He has nothing but patience for them. Their dynamic is interesting - something which I don't understand just yet. Tanner brought me to Angel's bathroom. I'm so disoriented I can barely concentrate on the conversation unfolding in-front of me. Tanner and Angel wash me down, talking between themselves as if I am not in the room.

"Is it done? What are you going to tell the others?" Angel asks. They're calm. Collected. This was planned.

"I'll make an excuse. It had to be done, he was a danger to everyone. He was a danger to her." Tanner places the washcloth in the water again before slowly dragging it across the back of my neck.

"She's barely reacting is she going to be okay?" Panic rises in Angel's voice.

"She's in shock she'll be okay. She needs time to rest." Tanner's hand travels to my cheek. I can only stare at him. I cannot fathom enough thoughts to talk. The image of James' body slumped on the floor replays over and over in my mind. I feel relieved. I feel anxious. I feel guilty. I don't know anything about him, but I know I didn't even hesitate to pull the trigger. I didn't try to resist when Tanner gave me the gun. I wanted to kill him and that scares me.  This place is changing me. I don't want to lose myself.

"You were the same the first time you killed somebody. You know first hand what it's like, she'll come out of this stronger." Angel raises my hands to their eyes.

"Just making sure there's no blood under her fingernails," they smile at me reaching for a towel.

"Delia up," Tanner offers his hand. I don't move, I don't think I have the strength to. Tanner doesn't wait for a response, his arms reach under mine pulling me up and out of the bath.

"Why did you kill someone?" The words fall out of my mouth without a thought. Angel looks at Tanner as if they are silently debating whether to tell me or not. Tanner finishes wiping my body down gently sitting me on the edge of the bath. Moving behind me his soft hands take strands of my hair forming it into a braid. I don't know where he learnt to do this, he never did my hair when we were together.

"He hurt me, plain and simple," they avoid eye contact focussing on folding the damp towels pooled at my feet.

"Maybe I should kill Tanner if that's the only reason you need," he doesn't react. He doesn't see me as a threat. He put the loaded gun in my hand knowing I wouldn't shoot him.

"You had your opportunity earlier and you didn't take it," he states simply continuing to fiddle with my hair. I'm so immune to being naked in-front of strangers that it doesn't phase me sitting in front of Angel without clothes. Regardless, they begin helping me dress.

"I was homeless when Tanner found me. Sixteen and begging on the street. He took me here. Fed me, bathed me, cared for me. When the time was right he took me to my childhood home and we dealt with my abuser the way I wanted," my heart stops. I think I know what they're insinuating.

"My father," Angel continues. "Took Tanner's gun and shot him right between his eyes. I felt like I had been healed. Years of therapy, running away - none of it even came close to that moment." Angel lifts a shirt up over my head.

"Do not let it eat you up. As soon as I noticed you were missing I knew. He did the exact same to me. To be honest I'm jealous of you, I wish I had gotten to him sooner," they laugh softly.