Bad habits

176 5 1
                                    

TW: Scars and bleeding!

(Y/n POV)

I'm eating dinner with my boyfriend Timothée. I'm reaching for the glass full of milk when I accidentally knock it to the ground. It shatters into pieces and I freak out, the exact same scene from my childhood rushing through my head. My breathing fastens and tears start to roll down my face.

-Flashback to Y/n's childhood-

Sitting at the breakfast table, I'm about to pour myself another cup of orange juice.

Not being careful enough, my arm entangles with my plate and before I can even react, it falls to the ground and breaks in pieces.

"Gosh, Y/N! Are you stupid or what? Even a 4 year old wouldn't have let that happen!", my mom screams at me as my empty plate falls to the ground breaking in halfs.

"I-I'm sorry. I d-didn't do that o-on purpose!", I sniff, as I want to apologize to my mother.

"I don't care. You're fucking dumb! I should've aborted you, no one is stupid enough to drop a  plate on their way to the fucking kitchen!" she continues to scream and I start to get frightened.

"I'm so sorry, mom, really!", I continue but she wont listen.

Tears start rolling down my cheeks.

"Shut up already! Get your act together and clean up that mess. If you cut yourself, don't complain and suck it up! It's your fault, you miserable creature of a human being!", without saying another word, she leaves the room and I'm all by myself.

I start picking up the pieces of the glass and cut myself with one of them.

The cut is pretty deep and it starts to bleed.

Now I'm sitting on the kitchen floor, crying and my hand bleeding.

(Y/n POV)

"Y/N, honey? Are you alright?", I suddenly snatch back to reality as I hear the soft voice of Timothée.

"Timmy, I'm so sorry, I never meant to do that!", I apologise as tears roll down my cheeks. I look down at the mess I made.

"Don't apologise, that could've happened to anyone.", he comforts me as he squats down to me and holds both my hands.

"No! It's all my fault! I'm so so sorry.", I cry and look up to him.

"Shhh Y/n. Calm down. What's up with you, baby? As long as we've been dating, you have always apologised for your every mistake.", Timothée asks as he pulls me upwards with both his hands.

"I-I'm sorry. It's just... It's the past. I dropped a glass once and my mom freaked out. She..she shouted at me and left me all alone to clean it up. And-and I cut myself with one of the pieces. I still have a scar from it. I'm such a fool.", I tell him as I continue crying and show him the scar in my palm.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. No one should ever experience things like this. And you're not a fool, you are important, important to me. I love you. So much. Don't ever forget that!", he continues and pulls me in a warm hug.

I start to calm down as I'm in his warm and comforting hug. He then lifts my chin so he can see my face and stares into my eyes. His hazel eyes are full of love and I adore it. I admire evey thing about him. He then cups my cheek and wipes my tears away with his thumb.

"Now let's clean that mess together.", he suggests. I nod.

We clean up and after we are finished, we just sit down on the kitchen floor. He gestures me to sit on his lap. I do that.

"Are you okay, baby?"

"Yeah... yeah, I'm okay now.", I insure before he places a kiss on my forehead and I put my head on his shoulder.

"You can always talk to me, no matter what, okay?"

"Okay"

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