no feelings. The military is torture. The most important thing is: don't show any feelings. You fight for the people you stand up for. If they die, you have to live with it. The many dead people, the screaming and your feelings. Not showing the feelings when you see someone dying in your arms is pathetic. That's how the military is. The time there was horrible, you build a bond with the people you fight with on one side. If one day they are no longer there, they will be replaced. The whole field full of corpses and bones. I failed as a military doctor. They bleed to death in front of your eyes and you're so stupid that you get hit. The ball strikes through the whole body. To see your own blood as you reach on the floor, the whole back and forth, the waving around. The game of life and death. I failed. I almost died and lost my desire for everything. As a doctor, as someone who writes and especially me, as a human being myself. I've lost the desire to write, I'm going to therapy to be able to process it. I have nightmares. I don't want that anymore. I try my hardest to write it. I need a miracle in my life. and fast.
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John Watson's Diary
FanfictionSherlock Holmes, a man who is my diary. His Person, his thoughts and my memories. A diary written about my past and my future with Sherlock Holmes. (It is a diary that John writes about Sherlock Holmes and the cases in the series. Everything is mad...
