CHAPTER 32 - What's The Best For Us?

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"I've been feeling something for Chawarin"

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As those words slipped from Zee's mouth, Jade quickly threw his eyes at Zee that was now still staring at the blue horizon.

"And I don't know...how to feel about that...or what should I do about that"

Looking at the disappointment in Zee's face at the time, Jade just came closer to Zee. Actually at the time, Jade figured out if Zee was actually longing to talk to someone right now. But there's just no one that could actually hear him.

"Just...what kind of feeling do you mean?"

Jade said again as he stared at Zee that has the irritated kind of face right now.

"I...I don't know... it's just...this one kind of feeling... it's -"

"Are you perhaps like Chawarin?"

Jade just cut through Zee's word as he felt like Zee was beating around the bush here...or it's just true that Zee didn't recognise that kind of feeling...

As someone who has been losing parents at a young age, he actually kinda forgot that kind of feeling 'love'. Love can come in many forms though, love in friendship, platonically kind of love...but the one that got him confused is the romantic one...

And the last time he considered he was feeling the romantic kind of love is when he was with Lia...

As Zee heard what Jade said earlier, he fell speechless...as if he was thinking and a moment after that Zee answered Jade...

"No....I mean, yes...in general yes...you know, as a good friend"

Zee said again as Jade looks ahead of him.

"Then why are you stressed out about that? Yes, you like him only as a friend. You said it yourself, doesn't it mean you are already very clear with your feelings then?"

When Jade said those words  earlier, it sounds most like a provoke but he actually just wanted to test him...if Zee was really sure about what he just stated earlier...these certain questions won't offend him in any way.

Zee's eyebrow twitched a little by those questions, and as he fell silent for a moment after hearing that, he bit the bottom of his lips before saying,

"Yes...I like him as my friend. I like the way he smiles...and the way he laughed...the way he looked at me... every time he did his silly things, or talked with his stucked voice, the way he hugs me to cheer me up and the fact that I hate skinship but he makes me into it, the way he greeted me every morning and night without failing, his face every time he woke up beside me in the morning or the moment he closed his eyes as he drifted to sleep in the night...I just-....like every single one of it..."

For some reason...the way Zee says those things out...was as if it was the thing that he had been kept long inside his hearts and it's just flowing out now. The way he says all of this is as if he was irritated and furious.

"So tell me....are those things that I said earlier were normal feelings that you kept between friends? If it's true, Then why did I never feel this way to my other friend?"

Zee said again as he switched his gaze to Jade. While Jade, he didn't expect that Zee would have been feeling this way all along. And when Zee spill the things out, it takes Jade aback a little.

"Tell me...why do my heart ached every time I see him being sad? Or when he hurts himself...or the way when he goes missing, why do I worry about him so much? Why do I care about how he feels? And why did I feel like losing myself every time he was not by my side?...So tell me, is this really how you feel about your friends then?...if it's not true...Is there any valid explanation of what exactly my feelings towards Chawarin actually are?"

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