I Want The Butterfly

... goodbye

***

With all stories and tales that be told of romance. They always have to start with a damsel in distress especially when the main character has witnessed their greatest fall, or their sorrow life has never seen a dim of light.

It's quite an interesting take and very cliche even if the story was spined around, the essence is still there and it's the same for all love stories. I for one never found them boring, but I find myself complaining about the same thing.

Why can we not get what we want but get what we don't expect? The plot twist of finding love in strange places where they weren't really that strange at all. Or is okay to think age is a number when we all know that our greatest flaws or other lingering connections linked us to begin with?

I hate to say it, but we cannot judge a book by its cover especially when our dear boy Bony saw something he shouldn't have seen knowing the truth that he wasn't the one.

Out in the summer of a drizzling Christmas night, Bony walks swiftly by the sidewalk smiling from end to end, as he looks up at the gray sapphire sky. The tiny warm flakes of water touch his bare face feeling more blissed when he read the message coming from another boy named Thando.

The word love would seem as if Bony was feeling when he thought of Thando, especially when they were together since eighth grade. Thando wasn't just a typical boy next door or the most compelling attractive person fooling people from his good look, neither was he a well-known bad boy even he isn't the smartest person alive.

He is just ordinary, but extraordinary in Bony's eyes after all it takes one person to see you in a new light. The smallest details or even the dumbest decisions were moments Bony cherished after all Thando paid attention towards Bony.

But does that mean love or something else.

Bony arrives to the park in his neighborhood seeing only three people seated by the carousel, two cars parked near the edge were bushes and wheat grew enormously. The smell of concrete dust and cigarettes' clouds the oxygen, music burst from the corner house grown adults speaking from the core of their lungs.

Idiotic, but as humans we are complicated to the heart.

This didn't bother Bony when all his thoughts were focused upon Thando.

"Bony", the sound of a soothing masculine voice speaks behind Bony. A voice that never seemed to be forgotten when it has been synced over five years.

"Hey!", Bony jumps into his arms without hesitation when his hands were wrapped around his neck, sly like a fox Thando wraps his hands around his waist pulling Bony close to peck his lips, cheek, jawline until he kissed Bony's soft spot. Bony giggles hugging Thando tighter, pure bliss was all he felt and surely this was his happily ever after.

But is it?

"Mara why the park out of all places" (Mara = But) Bony mumbles, Thando chuckles as he kissed the same soft spot underneath his jawline before he could say a word. "Because it was closer to home." Thando says.

"What do you mean home? dude you live in Willers Park." Bony says confused, despite embracing Thando, Bony leans back to stare right into Thando's dark brown eyes.

Normally into Bony's mind Thando was always joking when he hardly could tell a lie, he would laugh instantly when they made eye contact, just as he thought a smile appeared over his face. " I'd beg to differ" Thando says

"Right as if you want everyone to know ab-" Bony paused when he realised what his about to say.

Unfortunately, that didn't help at all especially when Thando knew well what Bony really thought about. Such a touchy topic yet taken in a light manner. Bony almost mentioned about the status of their relationship.

It is common to be in the closet, but five years seems a bit stretched about hiding a relationship. The shadows can be a cold place, but Bony never found any discomfort when the warm hugs Thando gave were enough withstand the eternal winter.

A bit odd then again is it worth?

"Bony." Thando's tone changed

"Wait, before you say anything I was not taking about anything that's totally sus neither about the whole I want our relationship needs to be public." Bony nervously smiles, Thando rolls his eyes as he begins to walk slowly while Bony's legs still wrapped around his waist. The atmosphere wasn't so warm anymore, Bony felt an uneased chill from his back.

His eyes never left Thando who stares behind Bony, the silence made him nerves and a sigh is the only response he got from Thando. "Thando." Bony said, Thand replies by humming without looking at Bony.

"Are you seriously doing this right now." Bony says, immediately he lets go of the grip from his legs around Thando's waist also were his arms removed away from Thando's neck. This stopped Thando from walking three feet apart within an awkward situation unfolding "I think you're overthinking what I didn't say."

"I'm not overthinking about anything." Thando says,

"You're still not looking at me." Bony mumbles, Thando quickly looks stares into Bony's eyes. He new well the look that Bony gave him wasn't so pleasing.

The sadness made things clear that even the lightest remark to a sentence can shatter a good mood within a moment.

"Yes I am " Thando says, the awkwardness thickens. Bony sighs nodding his head by the process, "You're angry."

Thando snickered, "Can't I be angry?" The look he gave Bony was disbelief. Thando hates talking about this and every time he thinks of it they hasn't been a conclusion to this argument when it's always left on hold each time.

"Yes you can be angry, but I did not say-"

Thando interrupted Bony bluntly, "But you fucking said it."

Bony's head jerks back quite shocked by the 'f' bomb that Thando pulled off, but with a blink he shrugs it off not even taking it to mind. "Okay...right, but I didn't mean it like that." Bony chuckles nervously, light heartedly he smiles again trying to not weaver.

"Yeah, like you really thought about it?" Thando questioned, unsure and very uncertain.

This only left a very disturbing pregnant pause when everything didn't seems to be tamed and calmed.

It wasn't haunting it felt a bit rational from a very very normal argument that happens from time to time turned out to be a  loop hole to question what is truly going on.

Bony tries to not think too much about this especially when Thando's tone poked his heart.

The common uncertainty was kinda dark to resume back from the warmth of this cloudy night.

Yet the thickness of the heated air damped by the tiny droplets of rain emerged a fire that burns there bond slowly to ashes.

Even the sounds of this night made it seem quite surreal. Like two strangers smoking by the benches, three cars parked by the other side of the park weren't depicted as audiences, but the fact nobody viewed them as protagonist they wasn't a cliche camera roll.

Yet for some reason this moment might last further in Bony's mind.

"Are you breaking up with me?" Bony asks directly.

His eyes linger on his question as his thoughts repeatedly decline to the idea he would say yes, because he never imagined a relationship outside from Thando.

It sounds strange to him nor the idea of him breaking up with someone that makes his insides feel like butterflies. It's something that never ends, Thando made him feel special in the smallest gestures when they are together.

Thando sighs, "I think we need a break from each other."

I guess everyone jinx it by begging the odds to flip on their side.

***