THE TROUBLED SISTER ~Cassie sturniolo

I tried really hard

I woke up and my body just felt numb my scars on my wrists and things were puffing out I didn't know what I did but something definitely felt weird. I went downstairs and saw Matt so I said good morning to him then I walked back upstairs and looked at myself in the mirror I looked drained as fuck. I decided that I am going to do it tonight. People always say "it's going to get better" when I've been in the same loop for nearly a year now and it's never ending. I put on my makeup and did my hair but I decided to stay in pajamas today (hoping it would be my last day). I was sat on my bed when I heard nick shout from the bottom of the stairs "CASS WERE GOING SHOPPING WE WILL BE BACK IN A COUPLE OF HOURS" he said while walking out the door . I didn't shout back beacuse he wouldn't hear me anyway

As I watched the car drive off I grabbed my pen and pater and started writing the notes it broke my heart writing these but know it's for the better.

Nicks letter

Hi nick by the time your reading this hopefully I'll be gone but I've been dealing with some deep shit that's happend in my life but I will never blame you or anyone else in our family for it. This is one of the reasons I'm leaving I ruin the family I've always been known as the cousin or sister or niece or granddaughter that has anger issues, adhd, and can't behave so it's better if I leave and make the family happier. I love you with my heart and soul and always will u always made me laugh and would get exited with me whenever I was down I will never stop thanking you. Just rember I love you so mutch nick im so proud

Matts letter

Hi Matt by the time your reading this I'll hopefully be gone. You have helped me through every rough spot in my life and you never gave up on me. When I fell you'd pick me back up, when I'd give up your hand would always be Their to help me. I'm leaving to make the family better I hate being known as the sister or niece or cousin or granddaughter or daughter with anger issues who can't behave and has adhd. If I leave the family will be mutch happier. I never ever want to see you give up Matt do you hear me never give up I'm so proud of you and never forget I love u so much

Chris letter

Hi Chris by the time your reading this I'll hopefully not be here anymore. I'm leaving to make this family happier so I'm not known as the sister, daughter, niece, cousin, granddaughter with adhd and anger issues who can't behave for more than 5 seconds I hate my life but I'll never hate you. You always made me laugh and smile with your silly jokes or your rap songs or just you in general and I'll always love you for that, please never give up and always remeber how much I love you I'll be waiting for u at the gates Iloveu

Justin's letter

Hi Justin by the time your reading this I'll hopefully be gone but if I am just know I love you so so so mutch ik we don't see each other often but your silly messages or your silly videos you send me kept me here longer and made me laugh when I didn't feel like it. You made me feel like life had a purpose and that I wasn't alone in a dark place. I love you never forget that I'm so proud of you and will always be watching over

Mum and dads letter

I'm so so sorry for making you read this but it's breaking me writing it you guys have raised me so well and bought me up right whatever wrong I did I did by myself it will never ever be your guys fault. You never gave up on me the amount of times I would swear and scream in your face but you always kept your calm and I thank you for that. You also taught me that their is a meaning to life and when you hit rock bottom you swim back up I love you guys so mutch and never forget that.

As I finished writing the letters I put them in my vanity drawers for later and as soon as I did that I heard the door open and close. "WERE HOME" nick shouted in a joyful voice "OKAy" I shouted back and wiped my tears. I wanted French braids so my hair wasn't in my face for later. I went downstairs and asked Matt to do my hair "Matt can you please do me two French braids" I said holding the hairbrush and ties in my hand "ye give me a min go sit down" he said as I walked into the living room as I sat down he started braiding my hair "wait how are you so good at French braids" I said "I guess I just learnt from mom when she did them for you" "ohhh" I said scrolling on my phone drowning out all of the sounds of them talking and laughing "all done cass" he said tapping my shoulder "thanks" I said standing up and walking back upstairs

I was absolutely shitting myself about it tonight I had always begged to be taken in my sleep beacuse I was to scared to do it myself but tonight is the night hopefully it will work i walked upstairs and lay in my bed for a little bit " CASS WERE GOING TO FILM SEE YOU LATER" my pulse started rasing as I stood at the window and watched the car drive off.
  

Rest in is part two what do u think will happen