Quantum Entanglement ~ Tamber

Chapter 5

!IMPORTANT NOTE PLEASE READ!
hello guys before i start the chapter you may have already read this in the "Regression Equation-Tamber" i just corrected that one and i just realized i flip flop the chapters... i'm really really sorry and i have no excuse for that... i hope this at least makes sense for this story now.. if you're wondering why this mistake happened in the first place.. it's due to the fact of multiple stories being posted and i always have the timeline and chapters filled out but there's a lot of editing to do before being published, but again im really sorry </3

The rest of the school day dragged. Tara found herself staring at the clock and anxiously tapping her foot, hoping it speed it up. She didn't know why she was so excited. She had been to Amber's house a million times before. They were best friends. She practically lived at the girl's house. This was nothing new, right? She must have just been happy to have contact again.

The thing is, Tara had often daydreamed of silly things with her best friend. Of course, she thought about kissing her. She thought about the way her hair smelled and the sound of her laugh. She had flashes of staring at her hands and admiring her long, slender fingers. She had a beautiful best friend, she tried to reason, but sometimes she let herself acknowledge that it was more than that. She didn't feel those things towards Liv or Mindy or any of the other girls in her life, and she certainly didn't longingly gaze at guys like Wes or Chad like that, either. It was a feeling unique to Amber, which she attributed to their closeness.

Christina Carpenter grew up in a strict Catholic household with her mother, father, and abuela. From an early age, they hammered their ideals into her, putting an emphasis on how important it was not to have sex before marriage. So when she ended up pregnant with Sam, it was a huge problem for them. She had been afraid to tell them at first, hiding it for as long as she could.

Eventually, though, she began to show, and she confessed in her best friend, her abuela.  Her grandmother had always been stern but understanding, much more so than her parents. She thought in telling her, her abuela would help her figure out what to do, but this wasn't the case. Instead, she informed Christina's parents, who immediately disowned her and kicked her out of their home. With her baby's father dead and knowing she had nowhere else to go, she knocked on the door of who would eventually become her husband - the short, sweet Carpenter boy she'd been dating for six months.

While Christina herself had gone against the church, some of her beliefs stayed strong. For example, Christina Carpenter believed that homosexuality was disgusting and sinful. Tara always rolled her eyes at her tangents, unsure of what set them off other than the booze. Sometimes, she wondered if her mom might be saying that to deter her friendship with Amber. They were incredibly close, something that Christina mocked on a number of occasions. It's why they had stopped staying there when she was home.

Tara had loved many gay people in her life. She loved Mindy, for example, and her uncle on her father's side. She knew better than to buy into her mother's beliefs, but sometimes, for a reason unknown to her, they still hurt. She found herself trying extra hard to seem stereotypically 'girly' and straight on the rare occasion her mother would grace her with her presence. And sometimes, after her mother would go on a drunken rant about 'eating cunt,' she found herself hating herself and her mom just a little bit more.

The toxicity had been too much to take, but she put up with it because she sought love where it might not present. As soon as she cut off and berated Sam, though, Tara was happy to find the courage to finally cut her off entirely. It had been a relief. Sam felt guilty about it, but cutting Christina out of her life was just as much for her as it was for her older sister. She didn't regret a fucking thing – well, not about that, anyway.

If she had felt something more than friendship for Amber, she could recognize that she had repressed for the sake of keeping the peace with her mother. It wasn't far to her, and she could recognize that now. But still, it was easier to just bury those feelings, as innocent as they may be, than face her mother's wrath. She'd spent many years rationalizing what she felt for her best friend, reasoning it away as just what girls did. Being without Amber or Christina in her life, though, had given her the freedom to finally embrace those feelings. And she was certainly feeling a lot.