silently suffering

Ch 1 (Sneak Peek!)

My parents always told me about Stranger Danger. They told me that I should be careful about going home with strangers, because they could do bad things to me. Or hurt me. And that if a stranger ever grabbed me or kidnapped me, that I should shout and kick and scream as loud as I could.

But they never told me one important thing. What if the "stranger" that was hurting you was your own family? What if there was no one to help you? To hear your screams?

That's how I felt on a crisp, cold Saturday morning as I shivered in my tank top and shorts. Carrying my duffel bag, I shuffled my feet on the cracked concrete, wishing I could fall in between the cracks. A car honked, and as I looked up, the window rolled down.

It was Dad. He was wearing his sunglasses and polo shirt, with a scowl on his face. Like he was the one that was left behind at the track field, instead of me.

I pretended not to know him and kept walking forward.

HONK! HONK!

"LAIDEN! GET IN THE CAR!"

HONK! HONK!

I knew what was going to happen when I got into the car. I'd rather just walk home, take a shower and forget the past hour.

HONK! HONK!

"LAIDEN! I'M WARNING YOU!"

HONK! HONK!

"THREE!"

"TWO!"

I didn't want to hear him reach "one". The last time I let him reach one... well, let's just say I was very quiet the next day.

Muttering under my breath, I shouldered my duffle bag and walked to his car, opening the door. Dad glared at me and pointed to the passenger side. Like, he wanted to have a "nice" talk with me.

I didn't even get a chance to explain myself in the car. Dad just knocked me in the head, leaving a nasty bump. I choked back tears, rubbing the sore spot. I guess I deserved this.

"Why didn't you wait?"

Trembling, I stayed silent. 

Dad slammed his hand on the glove compartment. I jumped. "ANSWER ME!"

"Since you left, I thought you forgot me. So, I was going to meet you on the road-"

"And let yourself get hit? Don't you realize how STUPID that sounds?" He snapped.

I couldn't say or respond to that. So, I just whispered a "Sorry".

Dad scoffed and continued driving the car. The worst wasn't when he was mad, because that would blow up and I (usually) recovered in a few weeks' time. No, the worst was when he got upset and silent towards me. It felt like he was taking something from me. And then you usually feel more guilty about it and try to apologize.

"Dad, I'm sorry."

Dad shook his head. "I took time out of MY day to help you prepare. You were the one who told me you wanted to do track. And I agreed, Laiden. You need to start taking things more seriously."

I tried to speak, but Dad put his finger on top of his lips. Anger rose in my throat but I just looked away. I really didn't want to blow up on him. It would be really sinful of me. I fingered my cross necklace and uttered a silent prayer.

Lord, I am so sorry. Please stop Dad's anger. I just want to be a good son. All I do is try and try, but I keep failing. Please.

"I was watching you the whole time, Laiden. You don't take things seriously. At ALL. The whole time, you were talking with Damion and laughing. And I caught you too. I told you to run two laps. But, then I saw you didn't do them."

I wanted to tell Dad that I literally did five laps because I wanted to do more than I was supposed to. And he was on his phone the entire time, so he didn't see me do them. All I did was take a water break for literally FOUR minutes as Dad always tells me to. But I kept quiet. Dad didn't care what I did right. He only cared about what I did wrong.

So, I guess I'm adding "Make sure Dad sees you doing your exercises at all times" and "let Dad know what else you could do" to my mental to-do list. 

"AND THEN, when I made you accountable, you were UPSET when I made you do laps."

I turned to Dad. "I wasn't."

"YES, you were." Dad insisted. "You should even be HAPPY that I'm making you do extra laps. It's to help you prepare. You're complaining now, but the track meet is even HARDER."