Watershed

Prolong: The beginning of 2 year curse

For last few years I had been feeling like I wasn't enough, I don't know when all of it actually started or may be I know. I'm just an ordinary girl, average looking a little chubby brown girl with a short height of 5'2 like cherry on top especially when you're a Pakistani, aunties loves to talk alot, they literally can make you insecure about yourself in a matter of seconds but I don't care at this point. I always have been reserved I don't mingle with people that easily. May be it's because I was still hung up on my school friends.Like we're still in touch, we talk to each other, we often meet but still I can't say this out loud but I envy them sometimes but I love them much more then that. I was a cool kid in school and everything, we used to sit and plan how we're gonna achieve our dreams but somehow after school they moved faster then me after getting admission in college they all made new friend, I din't. They went to coaching classes ended up making friends and I still took home tuitions but all of this was nothing as compared to the time all of us were applying for university.
Like I never had big dreams to achieve in real life. I've always preferred to stay in my Lala land, only if people could see what I haven't achieved in my imaginations. I have everything there but in real world I only wished to get a degree and after that a job in a bank, don't ask why because at this point I don't even know myself or again maybe I do.Well I always wanted to get a degree of commerce so after matric I applied for intermediate of commerce and got admission in a reputable college of my city. And people guess what it was a all girls college. Next target was to get an admission in "University of Karachi" specifically department of commerce it was something I always dreamed of, but when Allah has planned something for you, it's going to get served at it's destined time. So guess what happened I didn't got the admission not because I didn't scored enough but due to some unexplainable malfunction in their online admission system, it was soul shattering for me cause I gave it my all I didn't do anything except studying and reading novels that's all I ever did at one point I even gave up on my novels but still and the worst part was all of my friends they were all ahead of me they scored seats in their desired universities. You must be wondering why I'm blabbering about my academic history it's cause that was the whole point of my life.
I thought I had it all figured out "get a degree then get a job" like every other average person.I was a goody so all I did was study, I went to all girls school then all girls college and when I didn't got an admission in University, I applied in 2 year bachelor program of commerce that too from the same college. And those two years were hell, I was doing what I never planned on doing. And all this time I had zero interest in boys like at one point I thought there's something wrong with me, If I ever find someone attractive it was always someone on the other side of the screen. I didn't even noticed someone looking at me neither I looked at any one.
All I ever did was thirst over Charles Xavier from X-men, with my best friend. Then came the day when the final year results were announced, I passed with flying colors I was delighted. Then finally came the day when I actually got admission in 2 year masters program in University of Karachi specifically that department. I never thought that it's going to be a journey that will change the way I am, cause this university got alot for me in store. This was the very beginning of the 2 year curse.