The Wolf That Saved Me

Chapter 21: Lies and Secrets

NATALIE KANE

"Absolutely not," Cody responded, shaking his head.

"What?" I could feel my skin starting to heat up. He was treating me like a child, and I hated it. "Cody, you can't keep telling me what to do. Jenna is my best friend, and I can't keep lying to her."

"Alpha Jason gave me strict orders," he explained. "Not telling anymore humans about us is pretty much number one on his list, aside from killing them."

I scoffed at his words. "Are you seriously throwing that in my face right now?"

Cody looked taken aback. "No, baby. That's not what I meant. What I was trying to say was- The thing is that- Look I-" He let out an exasperated sigh. I could tell he was becoming flustered and I could see the turmoil in his eyes. He took a deep breath before continuing. "Nat, I wasn't even referring to that. I was just trying to express the seriousness of our situation." His eyes were boring into mine. "I got a lot of shit for everything that happened."

I opened my mouth, ready to interject, but he cut me off and kept going. "And I take full responsibility. I couldn't stay away from you. I couldn't control myself when it came to you. I almost shifted in the middle of a restaurant when that customer was being disgusting towards you. I showed myself to Dylan. I was the reason he came after us in the way that he did. Everything that happened was my fault. Had I known you were a wolf, things might have played out differently, I don't know."

His voice started to crack and he looked away, as if trying to regain his composure. After a few seconds, his eyes snapped back to mine; they were full of remorse. "I'm sorry you're the one being punished. I'm not telling you any of this to hurt you, that's the last thing I want to do; I'm telling you to protect you. Alpha was dead serious when he told me no more screw ups, from either of us. Any more broken rules and he'll kick us out of the pack. I couldn't care less what happens to me, but I don't want that life for you. Being a rogue is awful and lonely. Yes, we'd have each other, but no one else. No others of our kind to talk to, turn to or call family. Not to mention, we'd have to constantly be moving. Rogues are looked down on and often chased out of areas. There'd be no permanent home for us. I could never forgive myself if you had to live like that."

I sat there in defeat. I knew he was right. As little time as I had spent with the pack, I did know one thing, Alpha Jason was not one to cross. He was most of the time kind and treated everyone as family, but the pack as a whole and their safety always came first; any threat or suspected threat was taken care of. Even though I knew Jenna would never spill our secrets, Jason didn't know that, he didn't know her at all. She was just another human to him. If I didn't care about Cody so much, I would have kept protesting. In all honesty, being kicked out of the pack would have affected him more than me. I've had a human life, it would be easy for me to slip back into that. Obviously, my wolf would pose as a bit of an issue, but I'd eventually learn to control her. As for Cody, he was born into wolf life, into pack life, that's all he's ever known. It would break my heart to see everything ripped away from him because of my selfishness.

I sighed, bringing my hand to my head. "I don't know what to do." My voice was hushed, barely above a whisper. "Making up excuses was exactly what I did when I was with Dylan. I can't put her through all that again. She'll definitely know something's up, and I don't want you to be seen as the bad guy in all of this." I was on the verge of tears.

Cody took my face in his hands and gently placed a kiss on my forehead. "We'll figure it out," he said, softly. "This is temporary, it's not forever. The faster we get through your training and the harder you work, the faster you'll be able to venture outside pack lands. It's not going to be easy, but you have determination; you've already started to make a connection to your wolf."