Harriet's Dreams - Rewritten

Chapter 1: Spiralling Thoughts

It seemed as if the sun was mocking me. Its light, usually a mood booster, failed to lift my spirits. Nervous habits marked by a frown that forecasted early wrinkles. But I was getting better. It was a process, they said—a permanent activity for the foreseeable future. That seemed to be the case.

Steady, only the wheels on the asphalt. There was not a single thing to recall that was linear. At any given moment it could stop, and derail into an abyss. So far, I mean. There is hope. My therapist told me to reframe all of this, calling it "Resilience". Sure, playing along does not hurt.

It is fitting. The loud buzzing sound of humans. Honks, beeping, intangible phone conversations, and distant screams from cars far down the road. The reason? The road was keeping them away from their morning addictions. Humans, from the moment they wake up to the moment they pass out from exhaustion. Do they all run directly into their happiest moments? Or are they similar to me?

Does that sound healing? Perhaps not, but so powerful humans are. The morning gave way to these thoughts. Lost in them, I jolted as my body hit the floor, finally tugging the blanket back in place.

Pausing to lay there, I lamented these past few unfortunate nights. The dreams had come back, typical of them. Annoying, so very maddening. Pause. Lily screamed, and it reached the slits of my half-open door. I thought about ignoring it. Coming from her, it could be anything - from a misplaced phone case to imminent danger. You never know... Fine.

As I stepped into the living room, glimpses of blonde, a beam of light through the curtain, hitting the floor, nostalgic and reflecting off her healthy glow. Tiny rounded features, with a nose delicately built, stuffed with tears. There she lay on the carpet, in a fresh set of clothes, as if it were natural.

I was not much better when it came to finding floors comfortable. However, her head leaned to the side, maintaining eye contact with her giant glistening blue eyes. Trouble that is what it told me.

"This is a bit odd, isn't it? Anyway, I picked up your favourite skirt from the dry cleaner." She got up, sitting awkwardly. "Hurry up. You know I need you."

"Need me?" Looking around, makeup was scattered around the coffee table by the sofa. "Oh."

"Yeah!" She ran towards the shared bathroom, taking a blush and a lip gloss.

A yawn surged as I leaned against the door frame. Lily's blue eyes, a shade close to my own, yet ever slightly wrong. Bright and enticing deep blue, shining as she daydreamed.

I saw myself in her, a slightly more hopeful version of me. It existed, each time she grinned. Enabling this kind of behaviour is wrong but despite her unhealthy romantic life... You should make your family happy as much as possible.

"Go get dressed! He'll be up soon!" She whisked me away with her dainty hand, a blend of urgency and sisterly care.

"Ugh. Fine... Buy me sour gummies then. Or else no deal." I declared, already knowing the answer.

"Whatever, just get dressed!" She grinned with the habitual agreement of our sisterhood.

***

Standing by his apartment door, I noticed the doorbell was still broken, just as it had been the past week. His mother hadn't been home for a while it seemed. Giving me no time to knock, the door opened, and there he was, looking handsome as usual, as he changed into his outdoor shoes. I stared at him, a smile tugging at my lips as if pulled by an invisible thread.

"Lily is waiting for you," I said, immediately turning my back to the movie scene that was unfolding inside his house.

"Morning to you too. Is this how you are going to be from now on?" he asked his tone a mix of frustration and amusement.