a little in love

Well hi, I am Porchay I am 16 years old.
I live in Bangkok.
I have milk brown skin and black mid hair, I have a big brother whose name is Porsche.
My best friends are Mik, For and Sound.
And well Kim...
For, is my friend since middle school as Sound.
And well Sound is in my year he is one of my best friends, and he made me meet Mik, my best friend, the one who can understand me at all times. Kim was Miks friend first and then Sounds and then mine, we are ok. He likes to listen to K-pop, his favorite group is easpa.
I was at his place this week we had a great time but one thing he doesn't know about me is that I have a crush on him for like a month. I spoke with For first, about what I am going to do should I tell him, but he is my friend it will ruin things with him...and with Sound and Mik too. I am at their class every day, if I tell him I won't go there again...but I have to even though I don't have the corege.

**A week later**
I am going with Sound to Kim, we met with him and three other friends, it is so fun there they let me play my favorite singer Jeff Satur, we listen to easpa new sound called Armageddon.
Sound and another friend leaves ,it's just me Kim and the other two friends.
Ohhh how dumb I am I didn't tell you about Kim much...
He is a few inches taller than me he is younger than me in like 9 months, he is light brown skined, He has long black hair.
One of the friends told us about a crush she has on someone, and I told her "ya I get you, I also have a crush on someone but I know it can never happen between us..." After some time I set at the couch near Kim "sooo, who is your crush??" I told him... "Not telling you!" We fought for a minute or two, my heart is pounding, I am stressed I can't tell him, but it will help me move on...
Without thinking much I dragged him to his room and I was super panicked, he saw it and said "hi it's ok, don't be stressed" I signed dipply and told him..." Well I don't want things to get aqwared between us, it will be ruined" "I am not sure I get it chay..." "Well I know that I don't have a chance, I know it won't work between us, I just want to tell you so I can move on, but I don't want it to ruin it all" "ohh" he looked shocked a little then said "it's not going to happen." Ar this point I started to cry, and said "I know I just don't want this to screw up our friendship" "it won't happen Chay, it's ok"
I went to the bathroom to wash my face. All I wanted to do was run home and hide under the covers, but I couldn't. I was there for 15 more minutes before I told them that it was gatting late and that I needed to go. I went out and on my way to the bus stop I called Mik... "Mik" I said as I sobbed "Mik I told him" "what??" "I told him I like him and like I said he doesn't  want me" he tried to comfort me and when I walked into the house my parents were asleep, I showered and talked to For after that and went to sleep. But I couldn't do all I can think about is what I missed, I imagined us hugging and kissing and he comes behind me and hugs me from behind, it was all what I wanted to happen to us, but it didn't. Eventually I got to sleep.

When I woke up I was happy thinking it was all a dream but it wasn't I saw Sound at the entrance of the school so I told him and he tried to comfort me, I didn't go to their class all day, I felt numb, I didn't feel anything I was tired my friends got worried.

At the same night it was the birthday party of the girl that told me about her crush at Kims place, and there I saw Kim, at the party, I wore my most beautiful outfit, and somehow the only thing I looked for is Kim, he was stunning, he looked like the most beautiful boy ever, and I got even more depressed, I didn't come close to him and he avoided me.

What else can I say? It's not like a book or a movie with a happy ending.

He told me to help him cut the cake at the end, we laughed a little and I thought that maybe we can come past it but we had fun and laughed for like 5 minutes before he went away, I went home and cried to sleep only being able to fall asleep at around 2:30 am.

I started to come to their class at brakes again but we still don't talk much and maybe we never will again, I hope not.
I am still not over him and it hurts so much.

Hi guys, I am back I am sorry I don't have an ending to this story yet because I don't know what will happen between me and my P'Kim, and yes this story is what I did not even two weeks ago. If you are going through a heartbreak I think it will be best if you found someone to vent to, but that is just me.