"Ive made a decision Mar! I'm going to a normal school!" I announce. I am so proud of me!
"Are you sure? I think it would be great for you but its going to be a lot different plus you have to be good for a month." Mar has a smile on his face today and I can tell he approves. He has scruffy white and blonde hair with clean shaven face. His smile is crooked and his dimples aren't deep but he is still kinda handsome. His eyes are blue and really light. I almost wish I had blue Eyes. No one expects someone with ADHD and an awesome case if crazy to have low self esteem.
"Yeah I know. I'm gonna do it anyway." I say. I'm confident.
"I know you can do it! I'm proud!" He says with a smile. He walks over and puts his hand on my shoulder. "I guess that concludes this meeting."
"Yep! I'm gonna get me some food!" I say.
"Its not lunchtime, dinner, or breakfast silly. Cant have food yet!" Mar chuckles.
"Oh yeah! One more thing. Who will I live with?" I remember suddenly.
"Oh I'll take care of that! You go to bed!"
"K-k. Pick someone cool. Nightys!"
"Goodnight." Mar whispered and bound toward the door and down countless halls.
I skipped right into my room and hugged my wall rubbing my cheek against it.
"I'm gonna get a cat!" I giggle. I avoid the mirror in the bathroom like usual. I never liked my appearance. Freckles across my nose and cheeks and uncharacteristic brown eyes. I'm boring. I don't have fair skin and I don't have fair hair. Its all some shade of brown. My nails are short and have cuts near them from picking at them when I'm nervous. My lips are not red like a vampire but clammy pink.
And I cant stand make up so its my own fault I wont improve. To top it all off I have railroad track braces. Also I'm short. Shorter than any of my friends and I hate it. That with the glasses I wear when reading I refuse to look in the mirror. I just don't like how I look but I'm fine with everyone else.
Ive learned to live with it though. After all I only look at me if there is a mirror and other than that its other people that have to see my face so why should I care? I sigh ignoring the image copying my movements in the mirror and brush my teeth. After all is taken care of I go out on the balcony. Looking down I think. I do this every night. I know I am not actually crazy. I just do crazy stuff. I know the consequences and I know what I'm doing but I'm not afraid to live. I'm afraid to die though. The thought scares me.
So I stop thinking and walk to my ipod. I turn up my music which happens to be "I'm not afraid" by Eminem. I rap with the music. I have always been able to rap but singing other than that I won't even attempt.
Finally after about 40 minutes of endless tunes I slip into bed and "if you wake me I will strangle you" mode.
~~~~~~~~~~~
*Yawn*. I stretch my arms and swing my legs off the comfort of bed. As soon as I'm on my feet I fall over myself and slam into the floor with a thud. I just lay there hugging the rug. I crawl over to the general direction if the closet when I realize its on the other side of the bed. Damn. I slap my head to the floor on purpose and roll onto my back.
"I'm shooow tiyed!" I slur. Then a knock at the door comes to annoy me.
"Z wake up!" An unknown voice yells. I drag myself over to the door and unlock it. I'm still on the ground and I really don't want to get up so I roll onto my tummy again.
"Its open! Get in here and shut up!" I yell giving myself a temporary migrane. The door flings open and crashes right into my head.
"Ow! You mother-" I want to finish but I look up at a guy I have never met before. What does he want?
