Love Till Infinity

Part-1

Dated - 6th April 2024
yeah she  broke me up ... she said that her parents gotta know about relationship , I cant talk to you  , she said  that her mother directly told her that if she will talk to me in future then her studies will be stopped and she will not be allowed to go outside the house and one more thing she said she cant be in relationship with a person who is a cheater and said tat  you should take care of yourself ... I was like i take care of myself ? Without you ? I already asked you that time that whether I can date another girl ? you clearly said that " okay you can " like seriously ? you were my girl and you had a right to shout at me , you should be arrogant ... right ? but no you remain good .... and what the hell if I had been relationship with other girl ... but you tell me babe didn’t i asked you before ? even if i was there with them i loved you always Mahi ... that time I cant show you my whole love as I was arrogant and simp person at a same time and later on and you too have to study of JEE . I would be more thankful to you if you have concentrated on the studies . the hell what i said you in your 11 th standard that we will only talk to each other when you crack the exam . i can wait for you for that time ... but no you said that we can handle all this ... we will not talk regularly we will talk once in a week then later we both get addicted to each other and then you didn’t concentrate on studies ... yaar babe i want to see you mature and good with everyone but childish and cute with me . you yourself tell a girl in 12th class doesnt know to remove the decimal and turn it into a fraction form .. isn’t it irresponsible toward studies ?

Yaa I  seriously want you to sit next to me on a rooftop and talk to you under the the moon sky … little bit of light … my head on your lap and kiss your lips . When I drive the car , I want you in front-passenger seat …. And see into you’re your pupil .. the love for me … the love that I see on video call but what’s the point of all this now …. Even if you come in future I will you mine … you are not only a girl now .. you are madness …. You are the priority of me .. you are my love .. even if the society , my family is against this relationship I will not listen to them … for me you will always …  I will sing song for you dance all day for you till the time you are with me doing salsa ……  I will be there with you even if you its my demise .  You know what I think when I see you that god doesn’t made you for me ….. I thought that god made adam and eve to make babies and they make babies and they make babies , your whole bloodline participated in making you for me IN THE CENTURY , IN THE UNIVERSE , IN THE PLACE where I am born . I had lived for you … and live for you , I had cried for you … I will cry for you … I had waited for you and will wait for you always ….  My story started for you  and will end for you … you will be my last 7 minute .

Everyone say that a writer are soft type of person …. They don’t know how to shed blood but here I know each and every bit of this things …. Once I was in bad things  …. I have my own friend divy who told me that world is not too good for all the person , the world is cruel , you have to be like everyone else …. But I remain silent and humble because I have old mentality that the cruel person can be fixed if we love him ….. In this manner I would always be in trouble .. I always thought that love everyone and you will be loved back …. But my prospective got changed when their was a person named Amit who was my friend’s ex …. My friend Mahima …. That guy had physical relationship with my friend Mahima and she left us on that day …. Then divy said me that see what have happened to her now ?  she left us … and that day divy took me to Amit , divy did all things to him that is good for him and tore him up … from  that day I visit to my Mahima  and talk to her …. But there’s only me who talk to her ,  she don’t reply me back . From that day I started smoking and endure myself into bad things . That was COVID TIME and before I was introvert and fear with peoples … I was in Amity International School , and those person were very cool or you can say they shameless … they all took advantage of me like give there works and assignments to me and I can’t resist to anyone …. Even my parents doesn’t understand me , they think that their is any defect in me … my mother never supported me neither emotionally nor mentally … and then deep inside there was a time when I actually got depressed ….. I didn’t know how to deal with it .
So in COVID TIME I have to be in home … 24/7 and deal with my family who literally give a fuck about my mental health ….. they don’t even allow me to roam outside ….. all the rules and discipline is only applied on me . so I started smoking and yeah I became a drunkard … I have no best friend so I play with my street dogs , cows and squirrels …. Then there was a girl came , Divya whom I impressed in less a half an hour and we broke up after 20 days { 25 MAY , 2020 – 24 June , 2020 } , she was my fourth ex but my first love . we broke up because she didn’t have time for me and she was a BTS ARMY ….. when she left me … from that day I was in depression and started smoking nearly 40 cigarettes a day and from the days soon I made my connection with my parents weak because I thought that if I die soon then maybe my parents will not remember me or miss me very much . I made every girl my sister because I didn’t want to feel in love against even by mistake .
                 

                   मेरा रब , मेरा खुद ,
                   मेरा माही ,
                   मेरा फितूर , मेरा जुनून ,
                   मेरा माही
                   मेरी दिलकशी , मेरी आशिकी                         मेरा माही
                   मेरा प्यार , मेरा यार
                   मेरा माही ... l