Forgotten Heartstrings

Chapter 29

Play the song 'Yellow' by Coldplay for this part

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Gab's POV

"Nak, magpatuloy ka. Nandito lang kami ng papa mo, gagabayan ka namin.

Lagi mong tatandaan na patuloy ka naming mamahalin kahit na wala na kami. Mahal na mahal ka namin nak."

Nagising ako nang maramdaman ko ang pagdaloy ng mainit na likido sa aking pisnge mula sa aking mga mata. Nang idilat ko ang aking mga mata ay saka ko lang nasilayan ang liwanag ng ilaw sa kisame at narinig at tibok ng puso ko at tunog ng makenang nasa gilid ko.

Buhay ako.

I sighed realizing that I was in the hospital room.

Nang sinubukan kong bumangon ay nagulat ako nang hindi ko maigalaw ang katawan ko dahil sa brasong naka patong doon. Sinubukan ko ulit gumalaw hanggang sa magising siya.

Agad kong nasilayan ang kanyang magagndang mga mata kahit mukha siyang pagod at mugto pa ang mga ito.

"You're awake," namamaos niyang sabi at tipid na ngumiti sa akin.

I gulped. He is still wearing messy clothes. His hair is messy as well but he still got to paint a weak yet beautiful smile.

"Bakit ka nandito?" Direkta kong tanong.

Hindi niya ako pinansin at tumingin na lamang sa wall clock. It was already 6:00 in the morning. Hindi ko lang alam bakit siya ang nandito at hindi si Hugo. Nasaan na nga ba sila?

"May masakit ba sa'yo? Gutom ka na ba?" Sunod-sunod niyang tanong sa akin pero hindi ko iyon pinansin.

"Sagutin mo na lang ang tanong ko, bakit ka nandito, Eris?" Pag iiba ko ng topic.

Sa totoo lang ay natanggap ko na ang lahat. Dahil do'n sa panaginip ko kanina kung saan sinasabi sa akin ni mama na gagabayan parin nila ako kahit namaalam na sila ay na realize ko na hindi ko na kailangan si Eris sa buhay ko.

"I wanna be with you, Gab. I wanna stay because I love you."

His words seem plain to me already. I couldn't trace anything special about it. Alam kong nilalamon na ako ng galit pero hini sa kanya, Hindi ko alam bakit hindi ko na maramdaman ang dati kong nararamdaman sa tuwing bumibitaw siya ng magagndang salita sa akin.

"We're done, Eris. Oh, I'm sorry. We never started in the first place kasi tumigil ka nga pala sa panliligaw without me knowing."

Kitang kita ko ang pangingilid ng luha niya at palakas na palakas na tibok ng kanyang puso dahil sa mga sinabi ko.

"Gab, I'm sorry," he replied, his voice cracking.

Hindi ko alam bakit kusang tumulo ulit ang mga luha ko kahit hindi ko naramdaman ang pag iiba ng expression ko. Para akong namanhid sa labas at durog sa loob, hindi ko na maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko.

"Hush now, Eris," I said my voice a gravelly whisper that used to hold the warmth of his embrace. "Natanggap ko na ang lahat at hindi na kita gugulohin pa. Hinding hindi..."

Hindi na tumigil si Eris sa pag iyak. "Gab..."

"Umalis ka na, Eris. Okay na ako. Hindi na kita kailangan pa," malamig kong sabi.

It was the truth. Sa lahat ng pinagdaanan ko, nakalimutan ko nang minsan na akong pinagtabuyan ni Eris at sinaktan mentally.

"Gab, please. Let's fix this. I miss you and I don't wanna lose you anymore," he pleaded with his hands gripping mine and kissing it relentlessly.

"Please, just stop!" I yelled, forgetting the truth that he used to be my solace in chaos. "I don't hate you. I'm not even mad at you. But, I regret depending my happiness on you. I regret needing you the most. I regret falling for you, I regret all the heartstrings I once had toward you... I regret meeting you, Eris."

"I love you, Gab. And I can't blame you for falling out of love. I'm s-sorry for coming into your life..." Eris wiped his tears. "Please continue and be healed. You will forever be in my heart, Gab. If loving you means, setting you free, then I'm willing to leave."

Just like that, Eris hugged me for the very last time. Tumagal iyon ng ilang minuto saka hinalikan ang nook o bago siya bumitaw sa pagkakayakap sa akin. Aaminin kong masakit ito para sa akin pero handa na akong mabuhay na wala siya. I will accept the fact that I'm now continuing my journey without him.

I loved him, but it's done. Everything has to be accepted.

Eris smiled at me for the last time before walking away from me.

I was left there, crying, breaking, and dying inside.

I closed my eyes and prayed to God.

Lord, protect Eris at all costs.

Help him reach and fulfill his dreams.

Keep him safe and sound.

Let him find someone who he deserves the most.

Let his heart be happy.

Let him be happy.

Being emotionally connected to someone you deeply care about can make it incredibly challenging to create distance.

Detaching and allowing space can be beneficial, not only for your personal growth, but also for the growth of your partner.

It could be challenging, but with time, you will overcome it. It's important not to confine ourselves to our previous experiences. Similar to a resilient flower, there are occasions when we must endure difficult periods to develop and thrive for the bright days ahead.

We have to keep swimming in the ocean of life. We have to embrace and master the art of meaningful cut-offs.

We have to get used to healing our bruises and cuts. WE ALL HAVE TO BE INDEPENDENT because genuine people are limited. There are times that they are available and not. But the important one is that we have to keep moving.

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