The afterlife and you

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I need to know, because
I need time
Time to adjust, to ponder
But where? When?
Too scared to think
about the 'how'
I hope it's as good as now
If not better (what if they
have a different definition
of "better"?)
Until I'm nothing
Gone letter by letter
And who will remember?
I wish I could choose
my paradise
Talk with the people
I've met before
I wish they have outlets
Up there, can't even live
Without electronics
But who I would even
connect with, unless
others also kept their
phones. What will be my
place? Will I be happy?
And content? I've been
good, as far as my traits
allow, so there's no way
I'll be in hell? God, it
hurts my head. And
possibly my conscience.
I need requiescence
But my thoughts have
taken flight, restless
eyes open, through
twilight's waning hours.

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