If you only knew

Paubaya

ATLAS

"Alam mo kanina pa yan tunaw sayo, pati ba naman dito hindi mo tatantanan sa kakatitig? Lapitan mo na kaya." Siniko ako ni Nico, parehas sila ni Alexis ngayon na nakatoka sa pagdr-drive mamaya kaya naman isang paketa ng orange juice lang ang hawak nito, at iyong isa naman ay nagmamaktol, hindi niya matanggap na natalo siya kanina sa pusta kaya ayon panay dikit kay Angelie, kala mo may salahing tuko.

"Gonzales talked to me earlier, he's pursuing Selene."

"And so?"

"Hindi ba obvious? Look at them, Nicolette."

Calixto was sharing the chips he bought sa store, beside him was a laughing Selene with Justine who has a can of beer on her hand, na nakikiasar din sa usapan nila.

Nico raised an eyebrow, unbothered. "Okay, given na kanina pa sila magkasama pero that doesn't prove anything, Atlas."

"She looks happy." The words slipped out, raw with something I couldn't quite suppress.

"Of course, she had four tequila shots earlier." Nico countered without missing a beat, side-eyeing me before rolling his eyes. I shot him a glare before turning my back on him, rummaging through the car for my pack of cigarettes. We were at some convenience store now, and the rest of the group was either sobering up or buying more booze. Katulad ni Tristan na nakulangan daw kanina dahil bago kami umalis sa restaurant ay nag-aya si Justine mag bar hopping na sinangayunan naman ni Angelie pero hindi rin kami nagtagal dahil wala kaming balak mag overnight dito sa Tagaytay.

"Don't tell me magpapaubaya ka?" Nico's voice had that challenging tone, the one that always made me second guess.

I glanced at my phone, the time glaring back at me-alas dose ng gabi. It was already past midnight, and the weight of exhaustion was starting to set in. Pero kahit ganoon, wala sa amin ang gustong umuwi. We kept finding excuses to stay out longer, hopping from one stopover to another, buying time for... whatever this was.

I flicked open my lighter, the small flame illuminating my face for a second before I lit the cigarette dangling from my lips. Inhale, exhale-the smoke curled around me, a thin veil to hide the mess inside my head.

"Do I have a choice?" I muttered, my voice low. "The last time I talked to her, she told me she's serious with Gonzales."

Nico scoffed, crossing her arms as she leaned against the side of the car. "And you fucking believe that?"

I took another drag, the bitter taste of tobacco not nearly enough to calm the chaos swirling in my mind. I didn't know what to believe anymore. She was impossible to read, every move she made pulling me in one moment and pushing me away the next. I'd been watching her the whole night, pero hindi niya ako nililingon kahit isang beses. Her avoidance was like a knife, twisting deeper every second she pretended I wasn't there.

"Langya, mukhang mapapatagal ata 'yung tambay natin dito," Tristan's voice cut through my thoughts, drawing Nico's attention. He leaned against the car, a beer in hand, gesturing toward another parked vehicle. "Si Angge at Alex, binibinyagan 'yung kotse ni Calixto."

Nico burst out laughing, and we all followed her gaze to the other car, which was rocking just slightly. "Oh my gosh! How many did she even drink?" Nico cackled, clutching her stomach, amused beyond belief at the spectacle. Sino ba naman hindi magugulat? Kanina lang ay nag-aaway sila.

The car shook again, more violently this time, and I couldn't help the smirk tugging at my lips. It was the most absurd thing, but it felt like the tension around us lightened just a bit. The others lounging near the entrance of the convenience store seemed to notice the ruckus too. Justine was the first to saunter over, her brow furrowing in confusion.