Wattys 2024 Shortlist || When former lovers and current enemies, Adelaide and Fletcher are held hostage in a bank robbery, they realise they need to put their past hatred for each other behind them to help them move forward from past hurts, and find...
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I've never had anxiety or a panic attack before, but I've been around plenty with Fletcher. It's never easy, but it's got easier to recognise the signs, make sure he breathes and get him to a better state. What I've never experienced is noticing them in myself – because I've never had them.
When the paramedics wheeled me through the doors to the emergency department, it hit me like a brick. I couldn't breathe, tried to get out of the wheelchair and flee, thought I was dying. My heart could've beat out my chest and I wouldn't have noticed. The paramedics were amazing, and they even flagged down a passing doctor to get me in a cubicle and help me out. But I hate it here; the walls still feel all too familiar, and I hate them. They keep closing in, threatening, looking intimidating, like a Disney villain.
Eventually, I calmed down when they told me I might have a broken finger from where I was caught in the scuffle between the two Ward brothers. They needed to check me out for shock as well.
The cubicle they've put me in is at the end, so next to me is the wall and on the other side is a lady who apparently keeps getting heart palpitations. The doctors here aren't subtle when they talk to the patients. Not that I care, but privacy would be nice, I'm sure. They've been in to see me a few times, given me some orange juice to try and keep my sugars up with the shock, and I'm waiting for the x-ray on my fingers to come back – something I always thought was instant, but I guess they need a doctor to look at them, and the NHS workers are always overworked and understaffed.
I keep checking my phone, stupidly, thinking it might give me an update on Fletcher. Anything; where he is, how he is, what happened. Nothing, though. I mean, he doesn't have my number, so every time my phone goes off, it won't be him. The news, though, is giving me an idea that everything is over. I think they're implying Sam was arrested, as were the other perpetrators, and Fletcher was seen walking out of the bank looking a state. Of course, he looks a state; he's been held hostage, but the press doesn't care about that bit.
The press hasn't released the name of Sam as the leader yet. Whether that means they don't know yet or they're just not saying, I don't know. But there's no way that little nugget of information won't get put out in the media when they can. It's good it hasn't come out yet, I suppose. Fletcher doesn't need that shit on top of everything else right now.
My parents have already phoned and I think they're on the way down. I cannot get hold of Harrison for love nor money, though, and apart from a couple of texts asking me if I'm okay, there's nothing. My messages won't go through, his phone is off, and nothing on social media.
I don't feel safe. I'm lonely. Nothing feels right. Harrison's not here or in touch. My parents are likely stuck in traffic, Sophia's gone, my friends are at work, and, well, there is no one else.
