Hungry is the heart

Chapter 6. What returns

The adrenaline in her blood was the only thing that gave Eleanor the strength to keep running. She wasn't sure how long it was until she reached the city, or when the sun would rise. She just knew she needed to get out of here. Because she still could feel Solistes eyes tracing her sweaty body. And Eleanor was sure that the goddess had sent the wind that played with her hair. She was the one who moved the thin clouds across the moon, making the light flicker.

So she kept running, until everything suddenly seemed to slow down when the distant silhouette of a dark fence appeared. Lit by the two small flames of oil lanterns that belonged to the priest that kept watch. Eleanor stalled her pace until she came to a halt. From the shadows she stared at the two figures of the priests. They stood almost motionless, not expecting anyone to return. Had they heard the screams?

Eleanor took slow breaths, trying to get her greedy lungs to calm down. She needed to regain her composure. If they saw her like this, they would think she was some sort of monster, sent by the goddess to destroy them. They needed to understand Soliste had let her go. But had she?
Eleanor didn't dare to think about it. So as soon as her lungs weren't begging for air any more, she walked to the gate. Her heart kept beating in her throat, but she managed to keep her legs from running. 'Hello.' The wind carried her voice towards the gate.

The silhouettes of the priest came alive. 'Soliste have you come for us?' the one on the right asked. He kneeled down, grabbing some sort of amulet that rested on his chest. His wrinkled face looked spooky in the dark.

'It's me, Eleanor,' she answered while stepping into the light.

A scream left his mouth. He jumped to his feet while letting go of his necklace. His hand moved to his belt, pulling out a knife. 'Go back to where you came from!'

His colleague, a woman barely above the age of the sacrifices, slowly backed up. As if she was a prey, trying to escape the hunter's eyes. 'Soliste protect us,' she murmured.

'I'm Eleanor.' Her voice trembled. 'I'm not going to harm you.' She stepped away from the fence herself. The cold wind pushed against her back.

'You're not her. Go away, you monster!' The older priest waved his knife at her. It clanged against the fence. The sound echoed through the silent night.

'Please, it's me. I need help.' She stepped back, further from the weapon's sharp blade. Were they really convinced the goddess had changed her? Her fingers slit down her robe. The blood, she realized. She must look beastly with the red stains all over her mouth, throat, and chest. 'The goddess made me do it. I-I didn't want to.'

'Go away!' The man screamed. Her looked back at his colleague. 'Don't stare like that. Go get the guards, before she kills us all!'

The woman nodded, giving a fearful glance at Eleanor, before running. Her footsteps quickly fading.

The priest slowly backed away from the fence. The knife still rested in his hand, trembling with the rest of his body. 'I don't know who or what you are, but you won't enter this city. I can't allow you to hurt our children!'

His words danced through the air, the sound carried by the wind. It moved across Eleanor's skin while confusion was replaced by realisation. How could she think that they would let her in? Nobody else had ever returned, not alive at least. How could she convince them she wasn't the cursed being he thought she was?

'I-I'm a h-human,' she whispered. Her voice trembling more as his. 'Just like you.' She extended her bloody hands. Her skin looked grey, and her nails were dark and long, as if everything she had said was untrue.

Was this her? She pressed her fingers together. A tingling sensation went through her skin. The that had embraced her squeezed itself into her lungs. There was no air any more, and the lump in her throat made talking hard. She walked back further, now meters away from the gate that separated her and her home. 'It's me,' she said quietly, no longer believing herself.

The priest didn't respond. He held tightly on to his knife while walking in the other direction. The distance between the distance between them kept growing. And she didn't know how to stop it. In the dark city, buildings lit up. Voices spread through the silence. Eleanor couldn't hear their words, but they sounded angry.

It felt like this was her fault. Like she was the monster that killed Renna. Maybe she was. Could Soliste have changed her memory? There was blood on her fingers. Eleanor stared into the distance, watching the cities lights creep closer. Lamps moved back and forth as people gathered.

She felt her heart pounding in her throat. Whatever Soliste had made of her, it was very much alive. Ready to fight if it needed to. But Eleanor didn't want to.

She glanced at the dark buildings one last time. Fog danced between the towers and chimneys. It was a strange place to call home, but it had been hers. Now it wasn't. Now everything was gone.

She opened her mouth in what was supposed to be a scream or a desperate prayer, but there was no sound. Eleanor pressed her lips together and swallowed what remained of the metal taste, before turning around. Then she ran. No longer to the safety of the city, but back into the dark wetlands. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She tried screaming and cursing, but only soft squeals past through her throat. The rest was silent, like her voice had joined Renna's in the afterlife.

What had Soliste done to her? What had she become? Eleanor didn't know if she wanted to learn the answer. But what else was she supposed to do? Where could she go? Was this the fate she was cursed to? The punishment for the cities mistakes?

She couldn't do this.

She didn't want this.

She wouldn't...

In the middle of the wooden path, she halted. Her eyes peered through the darkness in front of her. The swamp was death quiet once again. 'Where are you?' she shouted. 'I know you're watching me!'

There was a soft rustling noise as the water started to move. Fog rose from the swamp, gathering until a white woman stood in front of her. 'I am here, dear.' A smile wide enough to reveal the hunter's teeth greeted her. 'Why so upset?'

'Don't pretend like you don't know what you did to her.' Eleanor walked straight at her.

'I didn't do anything.' Soliste lifted her arm and placed her fingers against Eleanor's chest. 'You were the one who ate. Don't you know what happens when you take a heart that isn't yours?'

'You forced me.' Eleanor shuffled back. 'Why? What do you want from me? Why didn't you just kill me?'

'I just wanted you to see what you could be.' Soliste kneeled down at the path's edge. Her fingertips touched the water. It stopped moving immediately. The moonlight that touched it seemed brighter as before Every plant and tree, rising from the swamp, was perfectly reflected.

Eleanor slowly walked to the edge. She looked at the strange eyes of the woman that looked up from the water's surface. Her face had a small set of antlers that seemed to mirror Soliste's in a wild and imperfect way. Brown hairs and a black plant were tangled in it. The plant was rooted in her skin, just above one of her two yellow eyes. The black roots tangled across half her face like it were veins.

Beyond the face, Eleanor noticed a pair of brown wings. They were spotted like those of a moth and partly covered in fine brown plants.

'That's not me.'

'That's what you choose to become. Hunger can be such a pretty thing, don't you think.'

'T-that is not me.' Eleanor moved away from the water, but she couldn't ignore the face in the water. It looked spooked and afraid. Its lips moving with hers. 'Please... that can't be me.'

'Why not?' Soliste's fingers wrapped around her wrist. 'You are pretty like this, too pretty to go to waste. You would be a nice addition to my collection.'

Eleanor pulled her hand back. The goddess' nails left red stripes on her skin. 'I'm not yours.'

'No, you are for the people and the night.' She smiled. 'You are made to wander the forests until your hunger kills your humanity. Then you will break through those fences and bring your family the destruction they deserve. You are meant to end with a silver stake through the heart, like all monsters do.'

'No!' This was some sort of illusion. Just another trick to make her go insane. Eleanor reached for her own head. Her fingers touched the plants and antlers. A soft squeak left her mouth.

'No...' She moved her hands across her arms until she touched something soft behind her back. 'No!'

'You don't have to become what you are made for.' Soliste stepped towards her and offered her hand. 'I can still your hunger and keep you safe. I can teach you to fly and show you nature's wonders. The choice is yours.'

Eleanor looked the goddess in the eyes. That wasn't a choice. 'You will force me if I refuse, won't you?'

'No, but I know what you want.'

Eleanor's gaze shifted to the extended hand. A part of her wanted to refuse and fight the force of nature that stood in front of her. But she wasn't brave or foolish enough to try. So she placed her trembling fingers in the cold hand of the goddess.