Prologue
"YOU! KAYONG MAYAYAMAN ANG PUMATAY SA ATE KO!" Dinuro ko siya at pilit na tinutulak palabas. I love him so much that I let him do whatever he wants.
Pero pagod na ako at hinding-hindi na ako uulit.
"I didn't kill her, Noelle! You know that." He tried to hold my arms, but I stepped backward. This is the mess I have to fix. He is part of it, and I must forget about it and let go.
"No! Allistair! You and your cousins are the same! He killed my Ate, and you are slowly killing me!" Bumagsak na ang kanina ko pang pinipigilang mga luha.
I should've listened to her. He will never love me enough to marry me.
"I love you, Noelle! I gave you everything I have! I gave you options, and you disregarded them!" Namumula na ang mga mata niya at parang nawawalan na siya ng pag-asa.
"Wala doon ang gusto ko!" Naninikip ang dibdib ko at halos hindi na ako makahinga sa kakaiyak. Kasalanan ko ang lahat...
We stayed silent until he spoke again and looks like he calmed himself.
"Okay. I will marry you. We'll get away from here and live together." He sounded so desperate, and maybe he knew that I had enough. Like he knows this time he hurt me so much that no words can take it back.
Hindi ko mapigilang matawa sa galit habang walang tigil sa pagtulo ang mga luha ko.
I always dream of him proposing to me, marrying me, and living together. Ngunit hindi ito 'yon. At hinding-hindi ito mangyayari dahil hindi ko na hahayaan ang sarili ko sa kanya.
"Two months ago, you told me to be your paramour and that you'll never love your wife. And I hated myself for considering it because I love you!" He started to walk towards me and slowly kneeled in front of me and hugged my legs.
"I love you..." he softly mutters.
It breaks my heart when I look at him. I promise I will never break his heart, but my sister is gone.
Wala na yung ate ko...
She told me to live my life not depending on anyone but myself, and this is not what I deserve.
"Fuck you, Allistair. Fuck you!" Fuck you because I love you and I'm still considering being with you. But fuck you for always using me and treating me like a backup plan.
I hate the fact that I will never forget you or try to love anyone else because you are all I know.
You never loved me. And I will always love you because this is all I know.
You are the only love I know.
_________________
And you wanna scream
Don't call me "kid"
Don't call me "baby"
Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me
You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else
charot. (Eras tour version)
song: Illicit affairs by Taylor Swift
inspired by the song~
BINABASA MO ANG
Series Title: Intrépida 2 "The Allure of Absolution"
RomanceCatalina is an orphan and the only form of love she knows is Allistair Lim. He is more important than herself and she will never hurt him or leave him. However, will she still stay with him if he never considers her his bride?
