Bumping Accident | Englot

Chapter 44

Trigger Warning: Mention of Panic Attacks
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Charlotte's POV

They say panic attacks are feelings of sudden and intense anxiety, but I think it's way more than that. It's a blur. A sharp pain in your chest. A knife slicing through the atmosphere. Created in your head, thriving off the toxicity. Emotions bubbling up to the surface, looking to burst. The feeling of being in overdrive. But being so consumed by panic, you have no fight left. Your body feels like you are running. Running so fast, sprinting through halls. Your vision is on a time lag. The corners of the world continue to blur. Your legs hastily trail behind your mind. Your mind being the captain, of course. Controlling each and every single mechanism. Each and every emotion bubbling up inside. Holding the tears at bay. Well, just for now... they will fleet out later. Come to think of it, panic attacks have no structure. It's a sudden onset caused by the build-up of fear. Panic lining your veins. Adrenalin being deployed. Unaware that the only fight which is ongoing is the battle within your brain. Your rational side reassuring you that it will be okay. But your anxiety overrides any rational thoughts. You feel like you are drowning. You are in space. You feel like there is no more oxygen left in the world to breathe. It's all been taken. Consumed by fears.

I was getting lost in my thoughts until I felt Isabella's hand on my leg. I turn my head towards her, and she looks like a mess. All of a sudden, I remember that we left Sofia behind, and I start panicking.

"We left Sofia," I say, and Isabella squeezes my leg and points at Daniel. She hasn't spoken a word since we got in the car.

Daniel turns his head and makes eye contact with me, "Engfa has a safe room behind the bookshelf in her gym. When Pichy and I heard the gunshots, we put her in there. She knows not to come out until Pichy goes and gets her."

I nod and glance at Isabella, then turn my head back towards the front. "Where are we going?" I ask, not even recognizing my own voice.

"Italy," P'Sun replies.

"Italy? I'm not going to Italy. We can't just leave Engfa."

P'Sun glances at me from the rearview mirror, "They'll bring her there. We don't have a lot of resources here to protect you. Plus, we don't know who was behind this. Italy is safer."

"Who's 'they'? And I can't just leave my life and go to Italy. What am I supposed to tell my parents?"

"Our people. They will take care of her," he answers, his voice breaking. He didn't even acknowledge the other things I said.

"I'm not going to Italy," I say a bit louder.

P'Sun moves the car off the highway and brakes hard. He turns his whole body around and faces me.

"I just left my best friend to bleed to death, the girl who's like a sister to me. I did that for you," he points and raises his voice.

"I didn't ask you to," I yell back.

"You might not have, but she did. I gave her my word that I would protect you and Olivia. Tell me, Charlotte, how am I supposed to live with myself if she dies?"

I stay silent and look away.

"How am I supposed to look her sister in the eye and tell her that I left her there to die? Would you, for one second, stop being selfish and think about other people too?"

"P'Sun, stop," Isabella finally speaks. Her voice is so quiet that I barely heard it.

"I'm just trying to protect you, damn it. This is all your fault. I wasn't even supposed to be protecting you. My job is to protect her, not you."