THE FINEST SUICIDE

The incident

Stolas
—-

So, there I am.

I got the call what felt like minutes ago. The little imp, Moxxie.

——

Stolas was silent. After that lovely fight he'd had with his dearest, it's no wonder he's quiet. What's the reason, he couldn't tell. The love he held for Blitzø was seemingly infinite, but he needed to stand up for himself. He sighed deeply, leaning against the wall and curling up. Stolas took a shaky breath in, his voice loosing all sense of words. He wanted to scream, die, cry, run after him and beg him to stay like he always did. But there wouldn't be a point. In the end Blitzø would do what he always did, and leave him behind once more. "I haven't taken my meds today." He whispered to himself. He stood, his legs shaky as he made him way to the dining hall. The long walk there was silent, with him desperately trying to ignore the portraits of his family.

Blitzø sat in his van silently. He wasn't necessarily shocked Stolas didn't want to see him, it made sense. He would never admit it though, his pride meant too much. He reached over and opened his CD rack, pulling out a crumpled paper bag with a shit ton of Benadryl. Clutching the bag in his hand, he go to it of his car. He took a walk along the sidewalk quietly, his back hunched. He looked down, suddenly feeling hot in the face. His eyes stung as he started to walk faster.

The walk lasted longer than he expected. Blitzø didn't stop his legs, walking into streets without looking for any cars. By some miracle, he wasn't hit. He touched the crystal lining his glove in his pockets, looking up. He recognized the area. It was pretty close to Barb's rehab facility. One last visit.
Blitzø walked up to the building, up to the front desk. He was well aware they wouldn't let him in, but it was worth a shot. "Barbie Buckzo." He said quietly, not daring to look the receptionist in the eyes. "We don't have a 'Barbie Buckzo' here sir." The receptionist replied politely. Blitzø was quiet, before whispering; "Barbie Wire." Quietly. A few taps of a computer keyboard was heard, and the receptionist spoke again. "And what is you name sir?" He asked. "Blitzo Buckzo." Blitzø replied quietly. It's been years since his real name rolled off his tongue, and it tasted horrible. A small hum of disapproval came from the receptionist. "You.. uh... You're listed as a person not to be let in under any circumstances." He said quietly. As expected. Blitzø sighed, finally looking up at the man behind the desk. "Huh.." He said quietly. "I like your eyes." The receptionist blinked in disbelief a few times, before chuckling. "Why thank you... but I must ask you to leave the building if you have no other reason to be here." He said. Blitzø looked back down. "Uh.. could you give her a note please? Or a message?" He asked, tapping his foot slowly. "Well.. due to the circumstances I cannot allow any physical things to go to the patient from you, but I can pass the message." The receptionist replied with a small, uneasy smile. Blitzø took a breath in. "Tell her I'm sorry. And I miss her." He said quietly. The man nodded, and Blitzø was on his way again.

He was quiet while walking, making his way to a casino. Not to gamble, of course. It was just the tallest building. There was a surprising amount of security, and by surprising he means none. Usually security was swarming the doors of every casino. Must be a shitty place. He stepped into an elevator with a woman and a stroller. The woman must've been batshit crazy to take a child to a casino, but he wasn't going to judge her now. He pressed the button to the top, and the elevator buzzed while going up. "What's their name?" Blitzø asked quietly into the silence. The woman glanced over at him, puffing out smoke from her cigarette. "I dunno." She said. "Just found this little booger, tryna find the asshole who brought a child here." The woman shrugged. The baby seemed to be asleep currently, which was good, because if that little child was crying Blitzø would've shot it.

The elevator stopped at a floor on which the woman was going to look for the child's parents, and it was soon on its way again. The elevator buzzed and dinged as the door opened to reveal the top. Blitzø stepped off, walking over to the edge. He sat down, his legs swinging off the edge as he pulled the bag of Benadryl and his phone from his pocket. Time to call some people. He looked in his contacts. Idiot one, Millie, Loony, Bird, Fizz, Barb, and a few scam numbers he'd saved simply because he liked their opening lines. He decided to call Moxxie.

"Hello Sir." A sarcastic voice said on the other line.

"Hey Moxxie." Blitzø answered quietly, staring down at the cars passing by below. "Can I tell you something?" He said. He could practically hear the uncertainty and shock in Moxxie's voice. "..Sir?"

"You've been a great friend Mox." Blitzø said. "I never said it, but it's true. Your were my first employee, and it made me so happy being your boss." He laid his back against the rooftop. "You were probably my first friend in hell that I could rely on." Blitzø then hung up without waiting for an answer. It would be nice to call Millie, but she's on a spa day with her sister. Calling would most definitely ruin it, so he decided to call Loona. He tapped her contact, ringing her up. The phone wasn't answered, and her voicemail played. "You've reached Loona's contact. I'll try and call you back, maybe." Beep.

"Hey Loony." Blitzø whispered. "Not at the phone huh? That's okay. I hope you're having a nice day at least." He said.

"You know, when I met you at that hellhound torture house, I couldn't help feeling a connection towards you." Blitzø sat back up, looking out at all the buildings in a few moments of silence, before speaking again. "You were abandoned, alone. You were just like me. I couldn't leave you."

He sighed. "Thank you for being my daughter Loona. I love you." Then he hung up.

Blitzø looked at his next contact, it was Stolas. He couldn't even look at the phone. But forced his eyes on it as he called the number. The call was declined almost immediately. Blitzø fought back a sob, going to messages and to his camera. He started recording, staring at himself on the screen. "Hi Stolas." He whispered. "The moon is absolutely beautiful tonight."

Blitzø took a breath in. "I'm sorry Stolas." He said, his voice getting shaky. "I'm sorry I ruined everything." Blitzø looked away from the camera, he couldn't stand to see his own face. His stupid fucking face. "I'm sorry for not being there for you. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for making you feel like you were nothing to me, because you are everything to me."

He tried fighting the tears in his eyes, wiping them off and looking back at the camera.

"You didn't deserve what I did. I hope you always remember that."

With that, he stopped the video. Blitzø hesitated, before pressing the send button. He had a few texts from Moxxie, but didn't bother reading them. He took a handful of Benadryl from the paper bag stuffed in his pockets, clenching them tightly and he ringed up Fizzaroli.

"Heyo Blitz!!" Fizzaroli answered from the other line, sounding enthusiastic. "Whatcha doing, who ya banging?!" Blitzø chuckled softly. "Hi Fizz." He said quietly, looking back down at the cars zooming by.

"You uh.. remember at your birthday party?" He said quietly. There was silence on the other line, so Blitzø decided to continue. "I was actually going to tell you I liked you at the party." He laughed softly. "But.. I couldn't get the chance. I regret that day more than anything." There was still silence on the other line. Blitzø was deafened by the silence, deciding to speak again even though his voice shook. "I'm sorry Fizz. I'm sorry for ruining for life. I love you." Blitzø hung up, and shoved the handful of Benadryl into his mouth. He swallowed most of them, spitting a few out over the taste. He threw his phone on the rooftop, stomping it till it broke. He stood up on the ledge, taking out his handgun.

"I am BLITZO BUCKZO!!" He yelled loudly. "AND I WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN." Blitzo pulled the trigger, throwing himself off the building.