AS LONG AS

PROLOGUE

MATTHEW P.O.V.

Dark. Darkness.

I'm afraid. I feared. It was like I was being froze for a long time. It was cold. No emits of light nor sound. It was pure. Pure black. And as I adjust my vision, look like it became darkened. I'm shivering.

I closed my eyes, hoping for hope. Searching for safety.

I hugged my toes to keep myself at ease. So cold that my foot felt numb.

Where am I? I couldn't remember what happened last time. Is this part of my hallucinations?

A minute had passed before a loud bang broke the silence. I opened my eyes but still couldn't see anything, still surrounded by coldness and darkness.

What was that? Where I am?

"Isa kang halimaw, Ruelo! Demonyo ka! Ilabas mo rito ang anak ko! Matt? Anak? Nariyan ka ba?"

It was my mom. Mommy is here. She's alive? Hindi ako p'wedeng magkamali. Boses niya 'yon!

I tried to open my mouth for scream but I couldn't. I grimace in pain when I feel that my tongue is numbing. What just happened? Bakit pakiramdam ko dumudugo ang boung mukha ko?

Then I heard someone's voice. It was deep, a demon like. I gulp when I realized that it was none other than my ruthless stepfather.

"Patay na 'yan, Olivia! Huli kana! Malamang kapag nabuksan mo 'yan, tatambad agad ang anak mong magaling at sigurado akong . . . patay na siya," wika niya. Siguradong-sigurado.

Afterwards, scream and chaotic voice are being heard. Halo-halo na lahat. Hindi ko alam kong nasaan ako. Kung anong nangyayari sa'kin. Kung bakit ito nangyayari. Kung bakit ako nandito.

Hindi ko na napigilang magtakip ng tenga nang sa wakas narindi na ang tenga ko sa mga gulong naririnig ko mula sa labas ng kung ano mang kinalalagyan ko.

"TAMA NA . . . AYOKO NA . . . MAMATAY NALANG SANA AKO . . ."

Tears adapting and scaping.

My mom. I'm a guy but I couldn't protect her. I'm so weak.

"I'm sorry Mommy . . . I'm—" the next thing I knew someone is shaking me to woke me up from that bad dreams. Agad akong napamulagat. Inilibot ko ang aking tingin, nasa isang k'warto. Blangkong k'warto. At itong babaeng gumising sa'kin ay hindi ko kilala.

But despite the fact that I didn't know her, I remained still and didn't escape from her touch. When our gaze met. I easily read pain, panicked and worried all over her face. Was it all for me? Dahil ba talaga sa'kin kaya siya may ganoong ekspres'yon? Kilala ba niya ako?

Wala akong marinig sa mga binibigkas niya kaya sinubukan kong intindihin iyon gamit ang aking mga mata.

"Are you okay?" Oh. She kept asking if I was okay. But am I? Do I?

I absentmindedly nodded and sign that I was fine. Also noticed that I was in my hospital bed.

That was just a dream. Where I can still hear voices and say words.

This is the reality. I became both deaf and mute.

A tear escape from me.  I lost.