Our Awkward encounters (Laurmau)

Who are you?

It had been 15 minutes by the time aphmau realised what exactly is was she was doing- sitting in a hallway, without any real idea of where she was or what exactly it was that she was doing at this school anyways. Home schooling had always felt somewhat lonely, but right now there wasn't anything she would give to be back in her living room with her mum, struggling to do certain maths equations because while she was advanced she couldn't quite wrap her head around the new content put in front of her. her breath began quickening, remembering how hard life felt back then and now realising how she couldn't have been more wrong. she couldn't understand why she felt as though her mind was running at 100 mph and somehow feeling frozen in place, unable to move a muscle, a lump formed in her throat and she did know whether she was going to puke or whether her mind was giving her some sort of excuse to make her feel better about the fact that she was missing her 2nd lesson of the school day, it was too early to be doing this.

why did this happen when she had things to be doing

what was this

why can't she control it?

the cold linoleum flooring underneath her felt like sharp knives on her skin, bringing her back to reality, she took a sharp inhale and felt as tears slid down her sun kissed skin, in the days prior to starting school, she had spent every moment she could in the sun, enjoying her life before she had it changed for what seemed like forever. Breath out, her breath was shaky and a small sniffle could have been heard by those around her, that would have been if anybody was around her, everyone had seemed to adjust really well to the new school, so why couldn't she?

what really seemed to break Aphmau out of her trance was actually perfectly spaced out footsteps, hitting the ground and echoing through the halls, causing what felt like a ringing in her ears, trying to cover her sniffles, she let out a pathetic excuse for a cough, which only seemed to draw more attention to her, yet she still couldn't move, and the footsteps only hastened, until they stopped in front of her.

"are you oka-"

"im fine"

as the words left her lips and interrupting the voice that was checking on her, her eyes flickered upwards, only to be met with what could only be described as the antarctic personified, she could feel a chill run through her body as their eyes met, and somehow she couldn't bring herself to look away, it had felt as though somebody had stabbed her chest with an icicle, the initial feeling being cold, however, the softness in his gaze erupted a sudden warmth, spreading through her

chest, and the lump in her throat quickly re emerged.

"you don't look fine"

"wait"

"i'm sorry"

Aphmau could only stare through her tear stained eyes, she didn't want to talk, but they boy infront of her seemed awkward, and did not seem to know what to do in this

situation, his cheeks were flushed and his lips were very gently parted, when she focused she could see his teeth and how they weren't societies idolised idea of

attractiveness, they reminded her of a doll she used to have when she was little, an American girl doll, she had always loved their teeth despite not being considered

perfect.

his brows were furrowed and he seemed to look concerned about her, it must have een quite a sight, stumbling upon a small girl, on her first day of high school without a clue in the world how to act and what was acceptable. she gulped, trying to swallow the lump in her throat, her body had grounded itself and she was now incredibly aware of her surroundings and what exactly was happening, the boy in front of her had his arm outstretched, and his hand gestured to let him help her up, and as embarrassed as she felt right now, she really needed the help.

she gently reached out and placed her hand in his, he pulled her up and stood awkwardly for a moment

"i'm sorry"

"why?"

".... i dont know"

the two stood their again after that quick exchange, Aphmau had never experienced emotions quite this intense for a very long time and the only way she felt that she could take back some control of the situation was to apologise, that way, in her mind, she didn't feel as though she was a victim to her own brain, but after apologising she couldn't bring herself to meet the mystery boy's eyes, it was a strange situation and in that moment she kind of wished that literally anybody else had found her curled up like that, this boy seemed cool, how would her peers perceive her now if they all believed her to be some sort of freak that couldn't help but cry in front of strangers just because she couldn't find her class and control her emotions.

"you don't have to apologise-"

There was another moment's silence, as the boy's voice seemed to trail off after getting hallway through the word apologise, it almost seemed as though he was at a loss for words, except he didn't actually have anything to feel embarrassed about because at least he wasn't crying. However, while aphmau refused to meet the boys eyes again she did look over at him, and he seemed to be fiddling with the cuff of his shirt, which poked out slightly under his blazer sleeve, somehow it made him seem more distinguished, but he wouldn't stop playing with the cuff of his shirt, Aph did things like that- nervously playing with articles of clothing when she felt uncomfortable or if she didn't quite know how to handle a situation she was thrust into.

While she refused to look at the boy, he took the chance to examine the girl while she couldn't see him doing it, she had dark hair, very dark, and in the bright lighting the school had to offer it made her hair almost seem completely black, a few pieces were tied back with a small purple bow, it seemed to keep her face framing pieces of hair out of her face, which was a practical idea, especially for school, it had a slight wave to it and that caused the boy to examine the rest of her. Her skin was darker than his, he noticed she had a tanned olive complexion, and how well her hair complimented her skin tone, but that wasn't what enticed him to stay in the conversation while Aphmau may have been captivated by his eyes, he felt the exact same way towards her eyes, the only way they could be described would be a large deep pot of honey and how staring into it you would notice just how rich the colour of honey had become, her eyes had the exact same effect, he couldn't help but imagine falling into them unable to escape and accepting that he had to stay there, and while he accidently fell into the honey, he first laid on top of the honey, seemingly floating, until it

was too late and his whole body was slowly being submerged.

yet when she sniffled again it was if his body was being lifted out of that honey far too quickly until he was back in the highschool corridors, stood in front of a

crying girl.

"im Laurence..."

"aphmau..."

(word count :1275)

(24/06/2024)