Daughter of the Moon Goddess Drabbles

The Empress: Clipped Wings

My lungs burned even as I laughed with Fengjin, our eyes teained ahead to the entrance to the Frangrant Mulberry Grove.

Our only relief as we ran was the shadow from Xihe's chariot, but anxiety also arose from keeping up with it. If we were to fall behind its darkness, we would be barred from seeing our friend for another day.

But we had made this run many times, and had not yet failed it. And my news could not wait.

Sliding to a stop at the gates, Fengjin and I smiled as we put our palms to the door. The gate swung open like an elder giving a hug, a wave of comforting heat wrapping around us as we entered Xihe's homeland.

We didn't even have to reach her palace. Already, she came running at us. Her solar servents taking care of the chariot which she rode, the sun of the mortals.

Her hugs were better than anyone's, even my parents. Though I guess there was no contest there.

"My friends, the Sunbirds rest at last. Would you like to see them, all quiet and sweet in their nests?"

I will never understand how she can raise kids at all, much less 10, much less sunbirds. I love her and my kin, but the thought of a child sickens me.

Though I guess my mind must start turning to them.

Fengjin shook her head, her headress coming loss as she violently swung her head in all her energy.

"We get enough of flaming birds in the Phoenix kingdom. Right--"

She winced as she turned to me. "I'm sorry."

Xihe's face fell.

"So it is decided then? You will marry his Celestial Highness?"

I sighed. "We can't all be the heirs to thrones or controllers of celestial orbs."

"And time." Xihe added jokingly, though she dropped all pretenses at my face.

I felt molten-lava tears fill my eyes, my metal talons clacking together as I drummed my fingers. A habit a would have to stop, as the Celestial Prince had told me it gave him a headache.

"The moon has no one?" Fengjin suggested.

I scowled. "The Moon is cold and dark. And alone."

Xihe shook hear head. "So is the sun, but I would rather be alone by myself than surrounded by a court."

The Fragrant Mulberry Grove was pretty isoalted--inhabited by Xihe, a handful of loyal attendants Phoenixs, and her children.

"Oh, and who exactly will give me rein of the moon then?" I half-laughed, sounding insane.

The tapestry of my life--my past and future, hopes and dreams--was being pulled to threads, knots surrounding my neck like a noose. From the few times I had spent in his highnesses's presence, I had uncovered his terribleness, which I had shared in detail with my friends. And my parents. But their minds would not be moved, their hearts set on power.

I will admit, though, that power--the power of empress--thrilled me. Never again would I be yoked to another's whims, controlled. My wings would be freed to sore. Except I would be chained to my husband.

Xihe, always the more understanding, tried her best to comfort me, while Fengjin kept sprouting useless solutions. 

"Make him fall in love with someone else?"

"Love has nothing to do with it." I reminded. "Besides, I'm sure that won't be a problem for him even when we're married."

"You mean in lust." Xihe pointed out.

Fengjin and I blushed, though she remained unmoved. Things like that did not bother her, not embarrass her. The sun shone no matter what.

"Enchant your parents to change their minds?"

"Demon magic!" I hissed, enraged she would think of using their horrid mind magic, even to help me.

"Fake your death."

"We're immortals." Xihe rolled her eyes.

"Ummmm."

I raised my hand in Fengjin's face. 'Enough. There is no way to free me of this fate. I have come to accept this. I just want to enjoy what time I have left as myself, before I am forever chained to the celestial kingdom."

Before my wings are cut off, never to grow again, I did not say. The prince did not like to be reminded of the awesome power of the phoenix. He only wanted to use them as status symbols. Which is exactly what I was to become. 

"I want to ride through the air with the firebirds, chase the sun's shadows, spend my moments with you guys until night comes for me and my life."

They stare at me a moment. I know how hard this is for them, to give in, to not do anything to free me of this fate. I know because I have had to let go as well--let go of whatever control I have in this life and rise again in a new one. 

Finally, Xihe bowed to me in respect, as did Fengjin. "Like the phoenix, you will rise, anew and powerful. But we will spend as much time with you in this life as we can."

I'm an immortal, but I knew that no time would be enough.

I was fascinated by the Empress okay? She was a jerk, but she was so sad to me. She had lost friends and family because of the Emperor, been humiliated, had her son's life at risk and had no one to turn to. It was almost like she was reverse Chang'e--she only had her son. She was still a jerk, but a complex one.