Obx 4

Chapter 20: Love You From A Distance

A little bit before JJ showed up ~ Kie's pov:

I was sitting on my couch watching a random show that was playing on the tv show. I was curled up in a ball with a cozy blanket draped over me. I looked like a complete mess. I was wearing grey sweatpants and a random baggy tee shirt that I found in my closet. My hair was thrown into a messy bun. I mean I guess it's fine since it's like midnight but still, I've been wearing this all day. Ever since I found out I was pregnant a few days ago the stress about it all has been killing me. It's mostly about me actually having to tell JJ. I know I said I was going to do it after my appointment on Tuesday but, that seems so far away. I almost just wanted to get it with now so I wouldn't have to stress about it any longer. Plus maybe while I'm talking to him we can have an actual conversation about what happened without all the shouting. I think the last time I talk to JJ was the night we broke up. So we are due for some sort of conversation anyways. I'll also tell him about the whole Rafe thing that John b's black mailing me with because he's going to find out sonner than later and, I'd rather him find out from me then someone else.

I gently threw the colorful blanket off of me and turned off the tv. I walked over to where I my shoes were by the door and slipped them on. I know he's probably up right now. I've never seen him go to bed earlier than 3 am before.

I took a deep breath before opening my front door. I was debating on whether or not to tell him tonight or just wait until Tuesday like I was originally planning on doing. I also thought of him. What if he want to go to the appointment with me on Tuesday to see our baby for the first time? As much as we don't get along now I would hate for him to not get the choice to come with me. I also know that if I don't go and see him now all my confidence in the morning is going to be gone and I'm not gonna wanna do it. So I guess now is the time.

I slowly reached my hand for the door knob, letting it touch the hot metal from the May heat. I slowly opened the door, hearing the click as it swung open. When the warm heat hit my skin I saw boots standing in front of me. I looked up to see who it was and the moment I got to the man's torso I realized who it was.

JJ and I were standing face to face, neither one of us saying a word. I could feel my face start to turn red the more we both awkwardly started at each other, waiting for one of us to say something. My heartbeat started to beat faster and my eyes widened. I could feel my eyes start to water and the back of my throat started to get the uncomfortable feeling you get before you cry. I wanted to reach out for him and grab his hand. I wanted to hug him and apologize over and over again for all the pain I caused him and the pouges. Yet for some reason I couldn't seem to form any words. My mind went completely blank. Every time I tried to open my mouth to say something nothing would come out. Every time I tried to move my body, it wouldn't. It was like I was paralyzed. Stuck in an endless nightmare waiting for someone to get me out of it.

I starred at JJ, with my eyes still wide trying to process the fact that he's standing in front of me right now. He was wearing a black graphic tee shirt and his usual cargo shorts. His blonde wavy hair was mostly hidden by a black hat that matched his jacket. He was obviously nervous. He was fidgeting with his hands, looking down at them. I could see a little bit of red start to make its way into his cheeks. His leg would not stop moving. It was constantly bouncing up and down. I could hear him taking deep breaths, occasionally lifting his hand up to his chest. That's something I've noticed that he does when he's nervous. His shoulders were hunched over. He could clearly feel that same awkward and nervous tension that was floating around the two of us too.

I reached out my hand to grab the hot door knob. My other hand started to fidget with a few strands of hair that had fallen out of my messy bun, " um do you wanna come inside?" I asked quickly and awkwardly, trying not to cry. I watched as he slowly nodded his head followed by him following me inside my house, which was a mess by the way.