When the Beat Drops (Chasing Celestine #2)

Chapter 47

CHAPTER 47

Chase

He's mad. He cursed me. He hates me. So much.

Not a fucking chance, you sick, gold-digging slut...

Nasa ampitheater ako, mag-isa, sa gitna ng nakapapasong tirik ng araw. Nanlalamig ang loob ko pero mainit ang mga luhang bumubuhos sa aking pisngi.

I've been called a lot of names. Every damn time they touch and watch me. I am labeled like those things.

I fucked men for a living. Para kay mama. Para sa sarili ko. I was desperate. I am in so much need of money. Kasi gusto kong mabuhay ang mama ko. Gusto kong mabuhay pa para balikan si Karim.

In the past, he had been gentle and patient with me. He spoke of love all the time. His eyes made me feel safe and secure whenever he looked at me. But now... hearing those words from him... I think I deserved it.

What if I told them the truth before? What if I didn't lie and told him I loved him so much but had to leave? What if I told him I loved him so much and I wanted him and not his money? Would he still accept me if I was touched by unknown men even when we were still together? Would he choose to stay? Endure a long-distance relationship?

Pero kahit ako, hindi ko rin alam na balang araw, makakabalik ako. I was caged by that syndicate. Always held at gunpoint. One wrong move and I'm out of this world. Hindi ko rin mapapanindigan kalaunan. So... did I do the right thing? Ngayon... tama bang bumalik pa ako?

He's mad. He cursed me. He hates me. So much. Hindi na marahan ang paghawak niya sa akin. Galit at pagkamuhi na ang nakikita ko sa mga mata niya at hindi na pagmamahal.

Wala na ba akong babalikan? Ito na ba ang plano ng tadhana sa akin? It knew it would be so cruel to me. Magkakasakit ang nanay ko, pupuntahan kami ng tito ko, ibebenta ako, ipapasok ako sa sindikato, iyon ang plano ng mundo para sa akin.

Binigay lang yata si Karim para kahit paano patawarin ko pa rin ang mundo sa kalupitang sinapit ko sa kanya. Dahil kay Karim, lumaban ako. Sinikap kong mabuhay kahit pagod na pagod na ako.

He has always been my protector. Mula noon hanggang ngayon. Dahil kahit wala na kami, prinotektahan pa rin niya ako. Yung mga alaala naming dalawa ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ako sumuko. Siya mismo ang dahilan kung bakit nandito pa rin ako.

Dahil umaasa akong makakabalik ako ng Pilipinas. Para makabalik sa piling niya.

But here I am now, in the Philippines, wanting to get back together with him, but he hates me. So much. He cursed me. Wala na akong babalikan. Siya na mismo ang nagsabi.

"Phoebe..."

Inangat ko ang tingin sa tumawag sa akin. Sabina, rushing towards me, eyes laced with so much concern and pity.

"Phoebe," yakap niya.

I hid my face in her shoulder and sobbed my heart out. Ang sakit. Akala ko hindi na ako masasaktan kasi nakawala na ako sa impyernong iyon. I'm safer here, like what Stephen said. Pero masakit pala, lalo na kung yung dahilan kung bakit buhay pa ako, hindi natutuwang makita na nandito na ulit ako. Na bumalik ako para sa kanya.

"He hates me..."

My heart breaks more, speaking those words.

Alam ko na marami na nga ang nagbago. Not only his body, his facial features, his voice, and his hair. Pero yung nararamdaman niya. Yung desisyon niya.

"A-Ayaw niya na..."

I felt her nodding while caressing my hair and my back.

"My baby...hates me..."