When the Beat Drops (Chasing Celestine #2)

Chapter 49

CHAPTER 49

Shoe

Ganoon naman yata ang buhay. Mapapagod, magpapahinga, tapos susubok muli. Paulit ulit, walang katapusan.

I thought sufferings end with opportunity. Noong namatay si papa, nabigyan ng oportunidad si mama na magtrabaho sa school. Dahil doon, nabigyan din ako ng oportunidad para mag-aral sa isang dekalidad at magandang paaralan. She was given work by a rich family to take care of their little one. Mas gumaan ang buhay namin doon.

Back in LA, I was given an opportunity to meet Stephen. Kaya nakaalis din ako sa strip club and later on, he rescued me from the sex den. Ganoon din para sa mga iba pang prostitute na hindi makatakas sa sindikato.

Me, being wanted by the syndicate because they wanted to continue their illegal activities, was a blessing disguised in danger. I was given the opportunity to leave LA and I chose to go back to the Philippines.

But maybe opportunity comes hand-in-hand with luck. Because I had the opportunity to go back here but I wasn't lucky because the man I want to go back to has someone else already.

I've always been desperate. All my life. Bata pa lang ako, desperado na akong makatulong kay mama noong nagkasakit si papa. There was just a four year break from my desperation. Noong si mama naman ang nagkasakit, I was desperate to earn to pay the hospital bills. her therapy, and her medicines. So I had to sell my body to rich men. I could run away, I could leave, but I didn't. Because I was so much desperate to save my mama, the only living person who loves and cares for me. When mama died, I was desperate to live. Because the only way out of that syndicate was death and I don't want that. Now, I'm desperate to be with the man I've ever wanted to grow old and build a family with.

My desperation of having him back would mean...trying to break a relationship and steal him from her? Hindi ko maisip na balang araw, magagawa ko ang ganitong ka-punyetang pamamaraan para lang makuha ang kailangan at gusto ko.

Hindi ko nga naisip na makakaya kong ibenta ang katawan ko. Ito pa kaya? Pero ano pa bang mawawala sa akin? I have nothing anymore. Sa ngayon, malaya ako sa sindikato. I think Stephen is working on that. Kasi gusto niya akong tulungan. Si Sabina, she's been here the whole time to watch over and be with me. 'Cause she knows I'm alone. Without her, I'm completely nothing. Maybe because of pity, too?

Maagang kinuha ang papa ko. Kinuha rin nila lolo at lola ang labi niya, wala nang tinira sa amin kundi alaala. I fought so hard for my mama to live. But now, she's gone. I was fucked over and over by different men for the past five years. Ninakawan din ako ng tito ko at pinuwersa. The only family member I have left sold me to the syndicate and took advantage of me.

Ang saklap naman maging ako. Awang awa na ako sa sarili ko. That's why I'm doing this. Alam kong mali. Alam kong posibleng makasira ako ng isang magandang relasyon. But he's my happiness. He's the reason I'm still here.

I busied myself with studies and work, ganoon din si Sabina. Pero sa kalagitnaan, I message Karim. Tuloy pa rin ako. Chasing Celestine.

Ako:
I love you, baby. Higit pa sa kalawakan.

Ako:
I miss you so much.

Palaging delivered. Ang huling beses na s-in-een niya ako ay noong nagsend ako ng pictures. Pinalitan ko na rin yung profile picture ko, yung nakahiga ako sa kama.

Ako:
I changed my profile picture!

Isa lang ang nagreact doon. Si Sabina. Dahil siya lang din naman ang Facebook friend ko. I didn't accept Pablo and Josh. I don't feel comfortable with them.

I viewed Nori's Instagram story. Kumpleto ang Chasing Celestine sa video call. Magkakatabi si Karim, Tyrone, at Theodore. While Kat has, I think, his boyfriend beside her. So Alceo and her didn't end up together?