Junkyard Bastion

Warning Signs

<Becketts POV> <8:34am>

My heart rioted in my chest, and my face was definitely redder than a lobster.
"I..." she gives me a smile and leans in to whisper, cupping her hands around my ear. "Why not continue this conversation at my house? Your friend are watching yknow."

I gulped, yet nodded. She led me to her house and my heart was probably beating 200 times per second. My mind raced with the possibilities, the thoughts coming in 20 times at the same time, and I couldn't imagine I'd ever be in her house.

It smelled like her, just her. She notices the stillness in my posture, and gestures to her bed with a little laugh. She already settled down on it, And I awkwardly sit on the side of her bed  quietly as possible, not moving an inch.

"You're cute, don't get me wrong but..." She pauses, with a sheepish grin on her face. "I'm already taken." My heart drops and I look at her, curious on who the lucky man was.

"Oh.. who is it then?" She blushes, then sits up next to me. "Promise not to tell anyone?" She asks, staring into my eyes. I nod and I listen closely, eager to find out.

"Well.. I'm dating your sister.." She turns even redder and looks down to her lap, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. Unable to muster up anything else, I give her an encouraging smile, promising to keep my mouth shut.

I finally have dirt on Amy.

But what's the point anymore?

<9:14 am>

I walk back to my house, as I open the door I notice Zeriah and Orion looking through the books on my shelf. "Um.." I look at them a little confused.

"Oh uh.. we got bored." Orion speaks up, looking at me, only for his gaze to dart back to his hand on a book. "Well, how did it go?" Zeriah gets up from his position to pat my shoulders, as if to give some encouragement.

I didn't feel very encouraged.

"Well she isn't into me, she has someone." I chuckled awkwardly. "Awh. Does widdle Becky wecky need a hug?" He wraps his arms around me and I make no effort to struggle. With a sigh, I hug him back tightly, feeling the muscles on his back with one hand.

They feel so familiar.

I feel the memories rush back to me, as if to remind me of that night.

Full of nothing but his breath on my neck, his hands, trailing down my chest, my stomach—

Lower.

I release my grip with surprise, shocked on how quickly this newly found desire spread through my body, and it felt so fucking wrong.

And so right..?

I'm out of my damn mind again.

I need to get out of here.

With a shuddering breath I push him off, my jaw clenching and unclenching as I grab my jacket from my table, walking out with my eyes stuck to the ground.

Hearing nothing but my heartbeat and my name being called in worried voices, I go under the fence, leaving the bastion.

My bastion.

I need to cool of somewhere, I can't think like this. It isn't right, and I've already made up my mind. This isn't right.

It isn't right.

<6:44 pm>

I use my knife to nick off a few more wood chips from a small chunk of wood, and I place the small deer figure onto a flat log. I sit next to the little figure, kicking up dirt.

I could not figure out why I was shaken up so much. I didn't- I don't care about the rejection. I can't stop thinking about the sweet whispers he left in my ear, how it made me feel then—and now.

Why do I make things so difficult for myself?

Why can't I just decide?

I realize then I was biting my lip too hard, I seethe in pain when I finally feel it. Blood drips down my chin, and I shiver, feeling this familiar feeling of touch. I wipe it off quickly and I slowly get up, taking the little deer with me.

As the sun drops lower into the horizon, I climb up a worn down ladder, met with the familiar scent of cypress wood—my old treehouse.

Only my adoptive dad, Amy, he, knows about this place. I bring up the ladder quietly and I shut the door. I try to ignore the occasional growls from the zombies lurking, and I grab out another piece of wood from my pocket, chipping away at it slowly.

I feel as if these thoughts are a knife, chipping away at me slowly—I have no choice but to be shaped into what it forms me to be.

My jaw suddenly sends a jolt of pain down my spine, only then do I realize I've been clenching it too hardly.

Why am I even doing this...?

What am I doing in this treehouse, why am I just running again?

I thought that maybe I could've changed and be friends with—Him, again. But I can't understand why my mind just wants the same thing that's broken us apart before.

Haven't I learned my lesson?

I don't know why I regret this so much.

What—

What have I done to myself?

<7:13pm, 3rd person POV>

Both Zeriah and Orion were worried, but way could they do? Orion is still new here, let alone new to Beckett. Zeriah,

He knows.

Both asked around if someone had seen Beckett, with no hope every time. Worry only grows deeper as the pair slowly run out of options.

Zeriah takes a slow, deep breath and turns to Orion.

"I.. I think I know where he is."

—————————————————————

AN: Yeah uh. This was hinting at extreme internalized homophobia.

He is torn between what he wants, and what he was taught.

Y'all will find out why tho in later chapters but no spoilers TEEHEHE 😝

Anywayyyssss...

I'm so sorry for the rlly late update I've been trying to do a lot of things and I've been trying to get motivation to write at the same time, ITS TOUGH OK..

But I'll try and get a new chapter in at least a week after this one 😭

PS: BTW ILL NEVER EVER WRITE A SEX SCENE OK 😭 I'll give hints and suggestive stuff but I'm not gonna write one fr 💀*The flashback Beck has, they weren't having sex, but close enough for him to feel the way he is rn.*