[Dachuu] Snow White Dazai and Prince Chuuya

Oneshot

Like many other fairy tales, the opening will be:

Once upon a time, in a kingdom called Yokohama. During a snowstorm that seemed to wash away everything, a Queen decided to open the window to let the bitter cold hit her face.

"OMG, Queen Fyodor! You are pregnant"

Maid Sigma intervened the Queen.

"It's okay Sigma-kun, when we were in Russia we even stripped naked to bathe in the glacier"

Queen Fyodor laughed.

Suddenly, someone burst into the room from somewhere. Because the melting snow on the floor was slippery, that person slipped and accidentally threw a basket of apples into the Queen's face. The Queen's nose blood fell 3 drops onto the white snow.

"Oh, so romantic..."

Fyodor's eyes suddenly sparkled with tears at the outstanding beauty of red blood.

"What the hell is romantic?"

Maid Sigma sighed.

The maid saw the Queen bleeding, he grabbed the bandage and ran back, his foot slipped because of the slippery ground, he fell and lost the bandage. It rotated three times in the air and then gently fell onto the Queen's pregnant belly. Seeing that, she immediately clasped her hands and made a wish.

"I wish I had a child with skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, hair a bit messy like the current scene, and especially likes to wrap bandages around his body"

Some time later, Fyodor gave birth to a child with skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and slightly messy hair. She named him Dazai Snow White-the most beautiful-in-the-world-no-one-compared-if-anyone-dare-to-touch-a-strand-of-your-hair-then-mother-will-behead-him Osamu. Called Dazai Osamu for short.

Unfortunately, Fyodor was later fed a lot of unwashed Chinese apples by the conniving servant Shibusawa, causing her to become seriously ill and die. After a year, the King married Shibusawa and then he kicked the bucket.

Shibusawa finally got the throne and the kingdom, and she plotted to harm those who opposed her, especially Dazai. Perhaps because Dazai is a beautiful child, she is afraid that he will steal the beauty queen crown, so she always finds a way to get rid of him. I don't understand why, no matter what she did, Dazai was at peace, and even became so obsessed with death that he committed suicide every time he failed.

Shibusawa was so angry, she entered her secret room then punched and cracked the large mirror hanging on the wall with her bare hands. After that Shibusawa asked the mirror.

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the most beautiful and brightest of them all?"

"In the past, you were the brightest in the world but now you forgot to cover your black face"

"I will cover my face later, so answer me again, who is the most beautiful person today?"

"Ma'am, today Dazai is even more beautiful"

"WTH? With so many scars on his body, why is he more beautiful than a smooth body like mine?"

"Because he's white and uses concealer, dog brand concealer, just cost only ¥5"

"When did you switch to marketing, Nikolai?"

"Because you punch and break my mirror every day, so I have to earn money to replace the mirror"

The room was filled with only Shibusawa and Nikolai's cursing sounds. Dazai gently closed the door to avoid outsiders hearing, then he ran out into the forest to find a stream to drown himself in.