𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍 . . . 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐥

03. 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠

03. the first flashback.

season one, episode one: tape 1, side a

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"I know what you're all thinking. Hannah Baker is a slut. Oops, did you catch that? I just said 'Hannah Baker is'. Can't say that anymore."

Nessa's mouth dropped agape as she heard Hannah's remark. She knew the girl was funny and had dark humor, but that just took it to a whole new level.

"I dreamed our first kiss would take place in the park. I never told you that. The dream starts with me at the top of the rocket, holding the steering wheel. It's still a playground rocket, but every time I turn the wheel to the left or the right, the trees lift up like they're taking flight. And I'm scared, because I don't know how to fly. But you're there at the bottom of the slide to catch me when I fall.

And that's all that happened. We kissed. Why? Did you hear something else? Nope. We just kissed. Sorry to disappoint you, but I guess now we're even. Sort of.

See, I've heard so many stories about me now that I don't even know which one is the most popular. But, I do know which is the least popular – the truth. See, the truth isn't always the most exciting version of things, or the best or the worst. It's somewhere in between. But it deserves to be heard and remembered. The truth will out, like someone said once. It remains.

So thank you, Justin, sincerely. My very first kiss was wonderful."

Nessa walked into school, extremely agitated as it was. She had been up all night writing an essay for her English class, which yes, she could have avoided by doing the essay two weeks ago when it was assigned, but that was neither here nor there.

She followed Zach over to the brick wall where Justin and Bryce were already standing, talking with each other.

"Ness!" Justin said, running up to the girl and hugging her. The others greeted both her and Zach before Justin jumped back into his conversation.

"A picture's worth a thousand words." Justin said, pulling his phone out and showing the group a photo that he had of a girl, who Nessa noticed was Hannah, coming down the slide at Eisenhower park. It was a revealing photo, one that showed exactly what she had under her skirt.

"Justin! Delete that." Nessa instructed, extremely irritated. Justin looked at her, but when her face didn't change, he knew she was serious.

"Nah, we're sending that shit around." Bryce said with a smirk on his face as he grabbed the phone from Justin's hand, clicking a few buttons.

"No, Bryce. Stop." Justin said, attempting to grab his phone back, but Bryce wouldn't let him. Nessa had tried too, but before she had been able to reach out and grab the phone out of Bryce's hands, her own buzzed, revealing the fact that Bryce had been successful in his plans.

"You're fucking kidding me, right?" Nessa yelled as Bryce continued to laugh. The boys were all surrounding him, staring at the photo before it popped up on their own screens. Nessa thought she was agitated before, but now she was just downright furious.

"You're a piece of shit for taking that and showing us, because who the fuck does that?" Nessa snapped, directed at Justin, who looked down at his shoes, clearly embarrassed.

"You're a piece of shit for sending it." Nessa hissed at Bryce next. He snickered, showing no remorse for what he had just done.

"And you and I, we need better friends." Nessa finished with Zach before storming off, ignoring the apologies that all of the boys were yelling from behind her.

"What came after my first kiss? Not so wonderful. I'm not angry that you betrayed me, I'm angry that I trusted you in the first place.

A rumor based on a kiss ruined a memory that I hoped would be special. In fact, it ruined just about everything, as you'll soon see.

And stick around Justin, I'm not quite through with you yet. I know you didn't mean to let me down. In fact, most of you listening probably had no idea what you were truly doing, but you'll find out."

The tape ended, and Nessa pulled the earbuds out of her ear. She took a deep breath, in and out as she tried to process everything that she had just heard. Thirteen reasons why Hannah Baker had killed herself, and she was one of them. How was she supposed to live with that? How did Justin? Who were the others?

A knock on her bedroom door knocked her out of her trance as she quickly shoved the Walkman under her bed.

"Come in!" she said, and her door opened to reveal Alex. He walked in and sat on her bed with her, kissing her softly.

So, what are we going to listen to today?" Alex asked as he laid against Nessa's headboard, one arm wrapped around her, his fingers playing with her long, brown hair. Her head was laying against his chest, the sound of his heartbeat filling her ears. It always calmed Nessa down, laying like this with Alex.

Nessa shrugged, and told Alex to pick. He slowly moved his body, walked up to her vinyl shelf and picked the first one he saw. He carefully placed it on the player and dropped the needle, and a Nirvana song filled the room. Nirvana was one of Nessa's favorite bands.

"I like your taste, Standall." Nessa complimented him as he climbed back into her bed, resuming the comfortable position that the two were in.

"And I like you, Ness." he replied sweetly. Nessa felt her stomach flutter, something it did quite frequently when Alex spoke to her. He always knew just what to say, and how to say it.

The two spent their time listening to Nessa's vinyls and going on and off making out. They even had time for a singular round before Zach had made it home. When the two had begun going out, Zach made it clear that he only had two rules – don't break his sister's heart and don't have sex when he's in the house. The two were great at following both of those.

Eventually, the sun had gone down and Alex was expected back at home. After he left, Nessa decided to go to sleep early. Her mind was clouded with the tape that she had just listened to, and although she was dying to get to the next one, she knew that she needed sleep. She quickly scribbled a goodnight text to Alex before turning over and pulling her comforter over her body. She closed her eyes and began to drift into what she thought was a peaceful sleep, until it wasn't.

Almost as if it was a dream, a scene came into Nessa's mind.

She was sitting in the hot tub at someone's house – Bryce Walker's house. Alex, Jessica, Justin, and Zach were all in there with her. Beers were everywhere, and pizza boxes were flung around the pool chairs as the drunken teenagers talked and laughed. Alex grabbed his girlfriend by her waist, pulling her close to him as he kissed her cheek.

"Gross." Zach declared.

Nessa opened her eyes, caught off guard. She knew it wasn't a dream, because it felt more real than that. Besides, dreams weren't real, and this very much was. She knew exactly what night she had just remembered, although that was about as much memory as she had from that night. Nessa had gotten extremely trashed that night, and that was about the extent of her memory.

Still, something about that flashback seemed dark. It put an extreme discomfort on the girl, and woke her up from the sleep she was about to have. She tossed and turned for a few minutes before accepting defeat.

"Whatever." Nessa sighed as she reached under her bed and pulled out her Walkman. She opened the player and flipped the tape, placing her earbuds into her ear as she pressed play, laying back down as she listened to tape number two.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐬!

first episode done!! i actually am having sm fun writing this so i hope u all enjoy