The Battle of Erethin and Harry Styles

I arose to the sound of Ed Sheeran's angelic voice peacefully waking me up through my alarm clock. Two seconds into the day and I was already feeling dreadful. I manage to crawl out of bed and sheepishly walk down the stairs. My ugly, spoiled, stepsister, Adessa, called me a vulture. My other even more spoiled and ugly step-sister, Esther walked up to me and said...
"Ew... You look like a New York City sewer rat that just got run over by a Ford F2-50."
My third ugliest, most spoiled, brattiest step-sister, Addison walked up to me and shouted,
"Go back to your sleeping chamber! I can't stand to look at you."
They hate me because I'm such a smol bean... I thought to myself.
My dad pulled up to our country home in his forklift. I heard his wheels screech against the gravel driveway.
He stepped out of his forklift with his size 30 mega-cowboy boots and his women want me, fish fear me shirt. His seat booster fell out of the door as he opened it. He flung his 4'6 body outside, shoved the seat booster back in the door, and slammed the forklift door. My dad is sometimes mistaken for a five year old because he's such a short manbaby.
"Thy gentleman self does not possess such sigma ways..."
I mutter under my breath.
My dad walked to the stairs where my step-sisters and I were.
"THY GENTLEMAN SELF DOES NOT POSSESS SUCH SIGMA WAYS!!!!!🤬🤬🤬🤬"
I shout at my dad.
"Aw... My baby girl is growing up so fast... Unlike me..."
He muttered that last part...
"Oi, oi, oi!!!!!!!!"
I shouted. I've grown tired of this house.
I tried to walk back up the stairs and back into my sleeping chamber. I didn't notice the slimy banana peel my foot stopped on.
Time stopped for a moment...
I flipped upside down and tumbled down the stairs. I'm so smol and tiny that I bounced down the stairs like a bouncy ball.
Then I died...
"Welp!!🤓☝️ I did say I wanted to get out of there. Erm... This is awkward..."
Meanwhile, back in the living world--
"Erm!!! Did my daughter just die?? What the scallop--dude..?"
My ugly step-sisters cheered and jumped up and down and said,
"YAY!!!! Hip hip hooray!!!"
Back in the spirit realm...
George Michael, Chappell Roan, the rizz apple, Spock, Danny Devito, The Lorax, Bibble, Elmo on fire, Duolingo, and Zach Bryan stand over my rebirthed body.
"Hola! Coma estas?"
Says Duolingo.
"Muy bien! Et tu?"
I remember my years of Spanish on Duolingo and how it was the only thing that brought me joy in my house full of giants because I'm such a smol bean and I'm 1 foot tall when I turn into a smol bean.
Duolingo suddenly turned buff. He said to me:
"Harry Styles is coruppting the spirit realm!! We need your help."
"No way... I'm too much of a smol bean for that..."
Chappell Roan crossed her arms.
"Are your really gonna let a man take over the spirit realm like this?? He's just a super mega bummer boy."
"Oh, you're so right."
I said.
"He's my ex. I want to slash his tires. Let's take him down."
"YASSSSS."
Everyone said at the same time.
...
Loud footsteps marched towards them.
Big Bird, the Alpha Male, Zed from Zombies, and Olaf started singing We're All in this Together (with the dance).
Big bird said,
"He hit me with his car!!"
Olaf said,
"He tried to melt me!!"
Zed said,
"We dated!! He was the worst."
The Alpha Male said,
"HE SAID HE WAS A BIGGER ALPHA MALE THAN ME."
"We have a plan."
Olaf, Big Bird, Zed, and the Alpha Male said.
Later, the crew marched to Harry Styles' glittery pink castle.
As they were walking, the ground started shaking and a circular hedge maze surrounded them. Big Bird, Olaf, George Michael, and Zed were taken by the Commander in Cheif of Harry's army--Sigma Squidward.
Spock, The Lorax, Bibble, the Rizz Apple, Danny Devito, Chappell Roan, Duolingo, and I stacked on top of each other to see the top of the maze. We saw Olaf, Big Bird, Zed, and George Michael at the end of the maze.
We traversed through the maze and eventually made it through the end.
George Michael, Olaf, Danny Devito, and Big Bird were killed by Sigma Squidward.
Before we could attack, the ground shook once again. The maze disappeard along with Sigma Squidward and our dead friends.
Harry Styles stood in front of us.
We all made a line in front of Harry. We each punched him once. He collapsed!! He was defeated. At last.
Chappell Roan smiled at me and led me towards the castle.
"It's mine now!! I'm the queen! Also, Sabrina Carpenter is here and you're gonna get fairy powers when you meet her."
"Yay!"
I said.
Later, I found Sabrina. She waved a magic wand around and I spun in the air as she shouts:
"Fi!! Fie!! Fo!! Fum!!!"
I floated down to the ground in a battle dress made of Big Bird's feathers and Olaf's coal. My wings were galaxy butterfly that fluttered like the night sky. The best part was...
I was even more of a smol bean.
Even better--
I was smoller than my father... (If that's even possible).
I began the long trek back home to the living realm. As a fairy, I could travel freely between the realms. Right before I made it home...
Harry Styles appeared again!!!
"You never really defeated me!! I'm still here, guys."
He chuckled evilly.
"Hey, chucklehead!! Why are you here?? You want a knuckle sandwhich? It's time to defeat you ONCE AND FOR ALL."
I said.
I summoned an animal army of beavers, cows, hippopotimi, amd armed squirrels.
We had a battle that lasted ages... (If you call "ages" 7 minutes and 56 seconds and 9 milliseconds...) In the end, Harry was eaten by a squirrel named Big Bertha the Smol Bean.
We all celebrated and I went back home to my lousy step-sisters.
They had found boyfriends that broke up with them and now lived in the woods and watched Gossip Girl.
THE END.😘 XOXO, Gossip Girl.