Several moments later, Rafe's eyes sprang open in horror as control and sanity finally returned to him. His throat felt dry and swollen as he slowly disentangled himself from Sylvie, who stirred a little before falling back asleep.
Oh, God! How could he have made such a huge misstep?
He was always meticulous, always so bloody careful about this sort and thing, how had he let himself get so damn carried away?
This was a fucking disaster.
What the devil was he supposed to do now?
With steady hands that belied his internal turmoil, he gathered some clean snow off the walls of the tower, placed it on his handkerchief, and warmed it over the fire until the cloth was warm and wet. He knelt beside her once again, easing her legs apart, and sucked in a breath at the evidence of their coupling. He swallowed thickly as his body remembered the sheer, unrivaled pleasure of finding his release deep within her body. She made a murmur of displeasure when he touched the cloth to her skin.
"Go back to sleep, I'll wake you when the fire goes out," he grated out through the knot in his throat, mercifully she let out a small snore as soon as he stopped speaking. He was not ready to face her just yet, he had not yet sorted out his own thoughts. The last thing he wanted to do was say something idiotic while his mind was still tumbling. He wiped her legs clean, feeling embarrassed by just how enthusiastically his body had made his pleasure known; there was quite a bit to clean up. He pulled her skirts down and then laid his greatcoat over her so that she would stay cozy. He gazed down at her in the gentle light of the fire, reaching for her spectacles and folding them so that they would not break if she turned over in her sleep.
He had crossed a line that he never thought that he would. What the fuck had he been thinking?
He might have gotten her with child! After a lifetime of avoiding this very situation, how had he let himself slip?
He had gone in without any preventative, when his control was shoddy at best. What else would have happened except him filling her with his come?
Oh, God, he may have gotten her pregnant!
Already he felt as if he had been weighed down by chains, trapping him into a life he had so studiously avoided. His heart and mind raced, making him dizzy and nauseous.
No, he had to be calm. There was no erasing what had happened, he needed to decide how he would move forward.
He extended a clammy hand to her stomach, laying it flat against the coat, feeling the rise and fall of her body with each breath. His seed might be taking root at this very moment as she slumbered.
How terrifying.
His heartbeat slowed.
How singularly disastrous.
His mind began to find something to focus on; Sylvie. He bent down and pressed his lips to her forehead.
She may be carrying his child, he thought in a daze. She could be the mother of his child.
How completely.....extraordinary.
He may have just made a little life.
A baby.
A smelly, crying, loud baby.
A baby with an adorable toothless smile.
A weakness for his enemies to target.
A girl. One with golden locks like her mother.
A responsibility for the rest of his life.
A boy with a love for the stars, spending nights out on their property in Carlisle with his mother.
YOU ARE READING
An Inconvenient Arrangement
RomanceForever changed by his capture at the hands of the French, Viscount Carlisle is no longer the naive, carefree idiot who left the shores of England. He has spent eight years trying to find the man who betrayed him, but his plans are thwarted by the t...
