TRASH ❞ 𝘑𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘋𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘴

𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 4

creds to @LizvieFNaF for some of the ideas

"
Since that day me and Jonathan had gotten really close. Like REALLY close. He would take me to his gigs and I'd watch them perform from backstage since he got me a pass. We would even call everyday after my shift or whenever I was free. At this point he opened up to me about all his past trauma, issues, and addictions. I learned that he has breakdowns every now and then due to his past and how it haunts him to this day. He also told me how he's been trying to get sober and go to therapy but it was just that he couldn't manage becoming sober, no matter how hard he tried. He hated himself for it. I felt awful for him and tried my best to help him. He really sounds like a sweet and caring person by heart and he didn't deserve any of the things he went through as a child and growing up.

𝗔𝗠𝗕𝗘𝗥𝗦 𝗣𝗢𝗩.

Today I was gonna meet the band at a local bar, it was just gonna be me, Jonathan, Munky, and Head. Not the others. I started looking for them and as I was walking I felt a pair of hands grip onto my waist which caused me to jump a little. It was Jonathan. He laughed a little. "Relax, it's just me." He says as he let go. I laughed as well and turned around to face him "Was that necessary?" I said, smiling playfully. "Definitely, Cmon." He suddenly took my hand, interlocking his fingers with mine and led me to where the others were. I always found comfort in how he would hold my hand like that. He was so gentle too. Once we got to where Munky and Head were, they welcomed me and I got a coke. Munky was excited to see me. (He's basically like an older brother to Amber) He gave me a hug and we talked a little. I noticed how Munky and Head were pretty close. They were like the duo of the whole group. I was sitting next to Jonathan while Munky and Head were busy talking to the bartender.  "So how have you been? With you know..." I said trying to not sound awkward at the last part. I wanted to ask him about his drug addiction and drinking. I could tell he was  surprised by the question and a little bit annoyed
I totally didn't just kill the mood by asking that right?
He looked away and stayed silent for a few seconds before he began to speak. "-Yeah. Fine." He nodded his head up sounding a little dry. His gaze was down  of my direction. Was he nervous? I really couldn't tell. But he was definitely caught off guard or something like that. "oh, that's..great." I said, smiling faintly. I wasn't even looking at him now. There was a bit of an awkward silence between me and him after I said that. In my mind I was screaming and thinking why did I say that. Why the fuck didn't I think before saying that? I was now stuck in this awkward silence with him unless I said something to break it.

𝗝𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗦 𝗣𝗢𝗩.
I felt a little annoyed by her asking that. Of course I wasn't fucking doing well. I've been sleeping more and becoming literally worse than I already am to everyone. Even loved ones. I couldn't control it.

"You don't have to worry so much, you know." I sighed and spoke bluntly. I knew she could sense that I was annoyed. I didn't wanna act like a dick towards her so I tried to push away those feelings. "I know...sorry.." she replied quietly. I felt guilty when she apologized. There was no reason to say sorry because she was only looking out for me. "don't be, it's not your fault." I say putting a hand on her knee, rubbing it gently with my thumb. She was now looking at me. The awkward tension was gone. She smiled, "Just trying to keep you out of trouble." I could feel the awkward tension going away when she smiled. I love how sweet and understanding she is. She gives me the attention I never got growing up. She's also really pretty too, I love her so much. I'm too scared to tell her how I felt because I didn't want to ruin anything. Or maybe she would see me differently. After a few moments of talking about other things, she then spoke up in a slight hesitant tone. "Can I ask you something?" She asked, looking directly into my eyes. It's funny how her eyes were a much lighter shade of brown than mine. Mines were darker. It shows how different we are from each other, considering she has a more beaming personality than me.

𝗔𝗠𝗕𝗘𝗥𝗦 𝗣𝗢𝗩.
I had to tell him how I felt. It's been a few weeks now  and I've already built such a good relationship with him and we have had some intimate moments together. (as in holding hands and hugging, and falling asleep on each other). Even since the day I saw him I was already crushing on him. But then it hit me. What if he doesn't feel the same way? Or what if he doesn't agree but still stays and he becomes distant? I was thinking of so many possibilities and I became nervous. "It's okay you can tell me.." he reassured me. Once I built enough courage and confidence, I began to speak. "It's kinda random but...." I fidgeted with my fingers. "Well we've ..know each other for awhile now and I've developed feelings for you, your so nice and caring..I wish you knew how happy you make me!"
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𝙀𝙉𝘿 𝙊𝙁 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙋𝙏𝙀𝙍 4