Low Stress: Puppy-Love (Jikook)

Chapter Sixteen: The Makings of a Monster

TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter discusses topics of abuse under institutions, abuse from power dynamics, manipulated consent between non-jikook characters, and depiction of trauma responses.

"Nervous?" Jungkook asked, pressing a kiss into Jimin's hair as the couple walked towards a coffee shop in Hongdae. The café had white brick walls and cute yellow accents around it, creating a cozy but modern atmosphere. It threw Jimin off for the environment he was about to face Taemin in to be so normal when everything in his system was blaring alarms.

"A bit." Jimin answered honestly, checking his phone for the hundredth time to see if Minho or Taemin had texted that they had arrived. Minho replied they were still on their way but asked Jimin to grab a table and said that the two would find him inside.

"You don't have to answer, especially not right now if you don't want to, but what made the relationship with Taemin so muddy? So I know what we're about to face."

Jimin sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Imagine you're with someone, not because you love them, or even really care about them, but because being alone is so much worse. The type of environment that creates. We didn't treat each other like someone we wanted to be with, but like someone we didn't want to be without. If that makes any sense."

Jungkook nodded thoughtfully, his hand gentle on Jimin's lower back as they walked inside the café. "It makes sense." He says, brushing his nose against Jimin's hair causing Jimin to blush and swat him away.

Jungkook led them to a four-person table near the windows where the sun poured through the glass and it was easy to see the traction of life walking outside it. Jimin bit the edge of his thumb as he sat down, using the city movement as a grounding technique to keep his mind from floating away. Jungkook said something, the sound muffled by Jimin's thoughts, before two iced coffees suddenly appeared on the table in front of them.

Jimin blinked at the coffee. Then, at Jungkook.

"When did you get these?" Jimin asked, wrapping his hand around the plastic cup and focusing on the ice inside of it. The cold helped tug him from his mental haze.

"So that's a yes then, to the nerves."

Jimin paled, but Jungkook's expression was fond.

"I think you're brave for doing this, Jimin."

Jimin wiped his palms on his thighs, looking out the window in case Minho and Taemin appeared. He rubbed his forehead with his thumb, trying to grab a hold of himself before time disappeared again. 

"I don't know if I'd call it brave. Why couldn't he just mail me the notebook? Why make me meet him?"

"You won't have to talk to him alone." Jungkook reassured. Jimin smiled, reaching out to hover his hand over Jungkook's, hesitating as energy crackled between the two, before connecting their touch. A deep sigh left Jimin's lungs and he closed his eyes to savor Jungkook's callouses and the familiar length of his fingers. There was a world outside of Jimin's head, outside of his past and his hardship, and the gentle touch reminded him of that more than the café window ever could.

"I just, we've come so far, you know? Me and you. From everything we've gone through. I feel like we just started this whole new chapter where not only are our friends on board, but me and you are finally on the same page too, and this is the last thing I need to resolve before I can feel comfortable that it won't all crumble around me."

"Are you worried that's what's going to happen?"

"Maybe?" Jimin said, biting the edge of his thumb again. He eyed the iced coffee in front of him, his gaze growing hazy as it fixated on the beads of condensation around the cup. Jimin swallowed and Jungkook lovingly squeezed his hand. "I just feel like I'm so close to moving on from Busan and seeing Taemin again might be good to do that, but what if it sets me back instead? What if all the work I've only just started to put in to process goes out the door? What if it makes things worse and then everything good in my life just explodes?"