Well love was never easy for everyone
and it always hurts to fall in love
Be it from the exciting thump of your heart, the butterfly in your stomach, or of course the rejected part, the betrayal part and so on
But really to fall is to hurt
They say in front of love nothing is stronger
How if it was a fight between love than
I like him for he is the person who inspire me to be better, a somewhat very tough, rough, and scary but tender in actions, he is thoughfull, his words is firm, a little hurt sometimes but carry a meaning.
He is not my ideal type, so does me probably not his ideal type.. but we are quite fit to be good friends
Every good stories has and end, so does us, our story which never started
It's end in he knowing my feelings for him and we are no longer close friend. The story end the book has been closed. Furthermore, Fate chose to separate us far away, it's god fate and god says of showing .. obviously we need to find new people and someone better
Such a sort period feeling that not even has a chance to bloom, how far it could effect me, I said to myself.
Well I am wrong, my finger no longer able to count the years since him, is not like no one after is better than him, it just that the heart has lost its exciting thump, the stomach forget how the butterfly would usually react, and love is never as interesting as before
You know what even more pathetic is, even if it was never an unrequited love, I still would never start any as I am well aware both of us love god more than anything, and we don't pray for the same god. The highest wall for the believer.
But, somehow even seeing someone similar to him, struck me like a lightning, like a storm has befall me when it was a very clear sky before. I do not hate him, nor curse him, I hate myself for not trying to fight, for running away, not confronting him in front of his face, and for loving someone I know I shouldn't.
It's god who helped me in my darkest missery and he is one of the short gift I received during the healing period. I decide to be fine now, to let go of this feeling, and forgetting him.
From the silent corner in my heart, I never regretted it, will willingly repeat the same course for the next life as meeting him encourage me to be I am today, even if my finger wouldn't be able to count the years of longing. I would gladly embrace the pain.
