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Death | Angst

He asked me " Don't you fear death?" I sighed "Not much, honestly. We're all dying eventually."
——————

sirens and cries still echoed around us as the blinding headlights bore down, casting shadows that danced in tandem with the chaos. In that moment, amidst the overwhelming despair, he reached out, urgency in his voice, "Hey, young lady, move out of the way!" His plea sounded almost distant, muffled by the impending disaster.

The engine's relentless growl intensified, nearing me. As the blinding headlights bore down like a cruel spotlight, I felt not the warmth of the sun but an oppressive darkness. And a thought echoed within — what purpose was there in evading fate when the inevitability of despair seemed to shroud every conceivable escape?

The impact never came, though. Instead, I found myself unable to open my eyes. It felt so heavy, my body aching and restrained. I could hear voices around me, but they sounded distant and indistinct. A male voice pierced through the murmur, unfamiliar but strangely comforting. It felt like a warm embrace, and then everything went silent.

I woke up in a surreal white void, the brightness forcing me to blink until I could make out shapes. Step by step, I moved forward, my surroundings seemingly endless. Something caught my eye in the distance, and with each step, it seemed to elude me, maintaining its distance. Panic set in; I tried screaming, pleading for help, but my voice echoed in isolation.

Exhausted and defeated, I collapsed, sitting in the vast emptiness. I clutched my knees, replaying the events that led me here. The headlights, the engine, the paralysis, and then the warmth — a savior in the midst of chaos. But now, I was alone, surrounded by a sense of hopelessness.

Tears streamed down my face as I felt an overwhelming sense of despair. Suddenly, a hand rested gently on my shoulder, and I brushed it off, thinking it was a figment of my imagination. Then, his voice, the same warm voice from before, whispered, "Hey, it's okay. Everything will be just fine." The calmness in his words cut through my despair.

I looked up, meeting his eyes. He seemed like an angel, a comforting presence in this desolate void. "Hey there," he said with a smile, and I managed a small greeting, cheeks burning with embarrassment. "It's okay to cry. You're only human," he reassured, his smile unwavering.

In the infinite expanse of the white void, he stood beside me, an unwavering sense of hope emanating from his being. The stark contrast between his optimism and my profound despondency created an unspoken tension in the silent emptiness.

"You know," he began, his voice carrying a gentle warmth that seemed almost defiant in the face of our desolation, "even in the darkest moments, there's a sliver of light. It may seem impossible now, but things can change. Life has a way of surprising us."

His words hung in the air, creating a stark contrast against the heavy silence that enveloped us. I turned my gaze away from his hopeful eyes, the weight of my own bitterness pulling me deeper into the shadows. "Surprises? I've had my share, and they all led to more pain. Hope is just an illusion, a fleeting moment before reality crushes it."

Undeterred, he gently touched my shoulder, his comforting warmth juxtaposed against the cold void enveloping us. "I get it, life can be overwhelmingly harsh. But there's strength in facing the darkness. You don't have to carry it all alone. Let someone share the burden."

A bitter laugh escaped me, the echoes of my disillusionment reverberating in the emptiness. "Burden? My existence is the burden. No one can change that. It's easier to accept the darkness than to hope for a light that never seems to come."

He maintained his gaze, determination in his eyes refusing to waver. "I believe in the power of resilience. We can't control everything, but we can choose how we respond. You're not alone, and your pain doesn't define you. Let's find a way to navigate through this together."

With a heavy sigh, I turned away, unable to meet his hopeful eyes. "Together? It's a nice sentiment, but I've been let down too many times. People leave, promises break, and I'm left with the shattered remains of what could have been."

His optimism persisted like a relentless tide against the shores of my despair. "I won't promise to fix everything, but I'm here. Sometimes, a glimmer of hope is all it takes to start a journey toward healing. Let me be that glimmer for you."

Silence lingered, pregnant with the weight of my despair, refusing to yield to his hopeful words. He persisted, "Life may be unpredictable, but it also offers moments of beauty. It's worth exploring, even if it's just to discover a small pocket of joy amidst the pain."

As I gazed at him, a beacon of unwavering hope in the desolation, I marveled at the resilience that seemed to radiate from his very core. A soft smile graced his lips before he spoke, his words cutting through the eerie silence that enveloped us.

"You have to make your choice," he said, his voice carrying a mix of compassion and urgency. I reciprocated the smile, a fleeting acknowledgment of the gravity of the situation. "Okay," I replied, my voice a whisper against the void that seemed to swallow our words.

"Now," he continued, the warmth in his smile gradually giving way to a solemn expression, "you have to do it now." My initial agreement echoed in my mind as the weight of his words settled, and a realization dawned upon me.

"Yes, of course," I responded almost mechanically, the gravity of his statement registering only after the fact. A wave of panic surged within me, prompting me to seek clarification. "Wait, what do you mean? What choice?" His hands fell from my shoulders, the touch fading like a vanishing mirage.

Desperation clawed at my voice as I pleaded, "Wait, no, don't go. Please, don't. I need you; don't go." I clung desperately to the dissipating remnants of his presence, the tendrils of his being slipping away like sand through my fingers. The void itself seemed to unravel, leaving me in a desolate emptiness that mirrored the despair within.

He faded away, leaving me alone in the dissipating void. The white expanse crumbled like fragile illusions, and as I opened my eyes, reality sharpened with the clarity of impending doom. The distant hum of the engine became a haunting symphony, the headlights emerging like oncoming fate, relentless and inevitable.

In that heart-wrenching moment, the choice loomed before me – a binary decision encapsulating the struggle between clinging to the fading hope that had just slipped through my grasp and surrendering to the encroaching darkness. As the headlights drew nearer, time seemed to stretch, and the weight of the decision bore down upon me, an oppressive force that demanded resolution in the face of the approaching inevitability. It was a poignant dance on the precipice, a surreal ballet between hope and despair, leaving me suspended in the void between choice and consequence .

...

"Make your choice"

...

"Fast"

...

"Is it really worth it?"
I asked myself
...
And i heard his voice,
For the third time today

"Come on Darling,
time's running out"

...

And thats when i decided
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Maybe it is
Maybe HE is